LEAP - The journal of a street kid

A Night of Secrets and Confessions

It was a quiet Friday evening at Miracle House, the kids crowded together in the TV room as they always did, their faces lit by the flickering images on the screen. The air was filled with the familiar chatter, the scent of popcorn, and the occasional burst of laughter. But for Sisonke, tonight felt different.

He wasn't paying much attention to the movie. Instead, he sat at the back with the new kid from Aliwal North, a quiet boy named Xolani. He had only been at Miracle House for a few weeks, but already, he had made an impression. A soft-spoken and reserved boy, Xolani had been a target for whispers and sideways glances ever since he arrived. Some of the other kids were quick to criticize him for things they didn't understand—things like his mannerisms, the way he walked, the way he spoke. But Sisonke saw something in Xolani that no one else seemed to notice: a quiet strength, a need to belong.

It wasn't long before they became friends, sharing stories late into the night, talking about their fears, their hopes, their pasts. On this particular evening, as the others laughed at a joke in the movie, Sisonke noticed Xolani shifting uncomfortably in his seat, glancing at the others, as if unsure whether he belonged.

Sisonke nudged him, "Hey, what's on your mind?"

Xolani hesitated, then whispered, "I think... I think I have a crush on one of the guys here."

Sisonke raised an eyebrow. "Really? Who?" He couldn't help but be intrigued, not because he was judging Xolani, but because he never imagined anyone else might feel as he did—complicated, torn between fitting in and being themselves.

Xolani looked over at a group of boys laughing in the front row. His eyes lingered on one of them, a well-built kid named Musa, who was always the center of attention, his smile a weapon that sent half the girls in Miracle House swooning. Musa was everything that Xolani was not—popular, confident, the type who seemed to have it all figured out. The rugby star.

"That guy," Xolani whispered. "Musa."

Sisonke looked over at Musa, his muscles flexing as he laughed with the others. The scene felt almost surreal. The boy who'd become a legend in the house, surrounded by admirers, now being the object of someone else's secret desire. Sisonke couldn't help but let out a soft laugh. "Musa? Seriously? The rugby guy?"

Xolani's face flushed. "I know, I know," he muttered. "But there's something about him. He's... different when you get close to him. He's not just the guy who's all about rugby and... you know, being popular. There's more to him. I think I like him."

Sisonke leaned back in his chair, considering this. "Wow... okay. I didn't expect that. But, hey, it's your heart. You gotta do what feels right."

Xolani sighed, his eyes shifting nervously toward the front of the room. "I don't even know how to talk to him. Everyone's always watching. What if they find out? What if they... judge me?"

The question hung in the air like a heavy weight, and for a moment, there was a strange silence between them. Sisonke didn't have an answer. He had his own struggles, his own secrets, but he had never dared to put them out in the open. Not like this. He could see how hard it was for Xolani. How exposed he felt just by having this one, small piece of truth.

Sisonke leaned in closer. "You know, it's not about anyone else. It's about you and him. If you don't say anything, you'll always wonder what could have been."

Xolani smiled weakly. "But what if I get hurt? What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

Sisonke paused, thinking about his own experience with love, or whatever he had called it. He didn't have all the answers, but he could say one thing for sure—being honest with yourself, no matter how scary, was the only way forward.

"Maybe it's worth the risk," Sisonke said. "Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Maybe you'll get a nice slap across the face. Or maybe... maybe he'll surprise you."

Xolani gave a nervous laugh, clearly appreciating Sisonke's blunt but reassuring words.

Meanwhile, the rest of the kids in the room were oblivious to the quiet exchange happening in the back. It was a typical Friday movie night, full of cheesy one-liners and exaggerated reactions to whatever was happening on screen. But there was one moment that broke the illusion of normalcy—a moment so awkward that even the usual rowdy kids couldn't ignore it.

Musa, ever the center of attention, turned around in his seat to make a joke, but his eyes caught Xolani's gaze across the room. For a split second, their eyes locked, and the world seemed to stop. Sisonke saw the awkwardness in the moment—the way Xolani immediately looked away, his face turning a deep shade of red.

"Ohhhh, what's going on here?" someone whispered, a few girls giggling. They had caught the moment, the unspoken tension hanging in the air.

Xolani's discomfort was palpable. Musa, oblivious to Xolani's inner turmoil, just flashed a grin and turned back to his group of friends. But Sisonke could see it—the slight tension in Xolani's shoulders, the way he shifted in his seat, pretending it didn't matter.

"See?" Sisonke said softly, "It's already awkward. The guy probably doesn't even realize what's happening."

Xolani groaned, his voice a mix of frustration and embarrassment. "I told you. It's too much."

But there was no going back. The moment was out there, the crush in the air like an unspoken truth. The next few days would be a blur of awkward interactions, whispered conversations, and what-ifs.