Court Of Shadows and Lies

24. Unbidden Longing

I didn’t realize what had just happened or how I had done it, but I found myself leaping from the second floor, landing on my feet without a sound.

I had such powers, and I never knew.

For a moment, I just stared at my hands, as if they could explain what had just occurred. I wiped them on my shirt, trying to gather myself, before pushing forward toward the palace.

The guards’ quarters were outside the main palace. I moved quietly, avoiding any noise, knowing that an encounter with them would lead to questions I wasn’t ready to answer.

I stayed close to the shadows, slipping behind pillars, until I finally reached the back of the palace, hidden in a garden. I glanced around, searching, until my eyes fell on the same red curtains with white flowers that hung in her room.

I crouched down beneath her window, staring up at the ledge. It was high, but that didn’t scare me. I’d done this before. With a deep breath, I jumped, my hands catching the cold stone. I pulled myself up easily, swinging my legs over and landing quietly inside her room.

The moonlight filtered in, casting everything in a soft, silvery glow. My eyes found her immediately, lying on her bed. She looked so peaceful, her hands resting by her sides, her beautiful hair spilling across the pillow. A few strands had fallen over her face, and I had the sudden urge to brush them away, but I stayed where I was, just watching.

Her breathing was slow, steady. It calmed me, the way her chest rose and fell. For some reason, it made my own breathing feel less heavy.

I didn’t understand why, but being near her made me feel… safe. Like everything bad in the world was far away when I was close to her. I thought about the kiss again, how her lips had felt on mine—soft, warm. It was the first time someone had kissed me.

Why did she do that?

I didn’t know what it meant. It had made my chest feel tight, my heart race. And afterward… I had felt strange. My body had reacted in a way that was confusing. I didn’t know why, but it had made me want to be even closer to her.

I looked at her again, her slow breathing, the way her body moved so gently with each breath. She looked so peaceful. I wanted to be near her, to hold her hand or… maybe just be close to her. I didn’t understand why my heart hurt like this, why I felt this strange ache when I wasn’t by her side.

But I was too scared to move.

What if I wake her up?

I gulped, my eyes still on her. I remembered the kiss again, how my heart had pounded in my chest, how it had made me feel warm and confused. I didn’t understand what was happening to me, but I knew one thing—I didn’t want to be away from her.

I stood there for what felt like forever, watching her sleep, my heart pounding louder in my chest the longer I stood still. My hands were shaking a little, but I didn’t know why. I just wanted to be close to her, like earlier when she kissed me. That warmth, that feeling—it had been so strange, but so… good.

Finally, I took a step forward, and then another, moving closer to her bed. I was right beside her now, my eyes tracing her face, her soft breathing. I wanted to reach out, touch her hand, or maybe just sit down beside her.

But suddenly, her eyes fluttered open.

I froze, my heart stopping for a second. At first, she just stared at me, her eyes sleepy, like she didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t move, barely breathing. But then, her eyes widened. In an instant, she sat up, and before I could even react, she grabbed something from under her pillow—a dagger.