Court Of Shadows and Lies

43. The Sin of Existence

After a moment, I pulled away from him, regret tightening in my chest. I hadn’t cried in years, yet here I was, breaking down in front of him. Shame prickled at me as I hastily wiped my face, my skin sticky from the trail of tears.

“I need to wash my face,” I murmured, wanting to escape even just for a second.

But before I could move, Serene caught my wrist, gently but firmly pulling me back to the bed and guiding me to sit down.

“What?” I asked, frowning at him, confusion and irritation surfacing.

He hesitated, a strange look crossing his face. “I… sense something powerful coming from this child,” he said quietly, almost as if weighing each word.

I asked, frustration simmering beneath the surface, "What do you mean by 'powerful'? It’s just a baby. And besides, neither Cyrion nor Lenora have any magic in their blood."

He shook his head slowly, his expression troubled. “It’s something different. Not like the Terrance, not like Ron, or anyone else I’ve encountered with magic. Even the witches don’t have this… particular kind of energy.”

"How is that even possible?" I whispered, my skepticism faltering against the uncertainty in his gaze.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, voice hushed. “But the pull of it—it’s almost… magnetic. As if it's calling out to something.”

A chill swept over me as his words sank in.

He looked down, clenching his fists. “I’m afraid, Cessalie… that it will draw danger.”

"How... how... is it possible, Serene?" I asked, my hand instinctively moving over my belly, a mix of wonder and dread twisting within me.

He shook his head, frustration edging his features. "I don’t know. Getting rid of it… that might put you in danger, and…"

He fell silent, his gaze fixed on my belly with an intensity that made my skin prickle.

Tilting my head down, I tried to catch his eye. "And...?"

Suddenly, his gaze snapped up, and for a split second, I saw something flicker across his face—anger. His brows drew tightly together, eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. The vulnerable, gentle Serene I knew was gone, replaced by something darker, fiercer, and it left my heart pounding.

But just as quickly, his expression softened. His hands reached up, cradling the back of my neck, pulling me closer with an urgency that left me breathless.

“Serene… you can’t touch me without my permission,” I warned, my voice steady, trying to assert a cold authority, a barrier that I needed him to respect.

Yet he didn’t care, his gaze unwavering, filled with a rare, raw sincerity. "I care about you," he murmured. "I have no one else in this world… except you."

His voice softened to a whisper, barely audible, but the words struck deep. "I would die without you."

Before I could find the words, he spoke again, his voice firmer, more resolute. “That’s why… make me powerful, Cessalie. So I can protect you from whatever this child is going to draw to you.”

A slight nod escaped me, the answer instinctive. “Yes, it’s your duty to protect. That’s the reason you’re here.”

He held my gaze, his expression unyielding. “I will protect you.”

“Yes,” I replied, almost like an incantation, the words grounding us both. “You’ll protect me.”

The next morning, I stood before the mirror, my nightgown discarded, pooled around my feet. I shifted slightly, studying myself from different angles, my gaze tracing the curve of my bare form. My hair hung in a loose braid over one shoulder, and despite the fading makeup, the faint scar remained visible.