'The Ramblings Of A Lunatic'

'Obsessed'

I don't think you really know what you do to me, have I told you that? You have me absolutely obsessed with you, my heart running faster than a Japanese bullet train whenever you call me small nicknames. Whenever you call me 'dear' I find myself melting instantly, my heart in my throat, all sanity just draining from me. You drive me insane, but in all the best ways. That voice of yours literally haunting me; crawling into my dreams and my everyday life. And Christ, your stunning looks have me absolutely red to the face whenever I have the honor of gazing at them. Dreams, I have DREAMS of you. Dreams where I reach out and cup your cheek, grazing your jawline with my thumb. These dreams, the contact, it feels all so vivid and real to me. Half the time these dreams cause me to wake up, heavily breathing and completely flustered; unable to fall back asleep for a good while. Every joke of yours seems to brighten my day, making me laugh at all the worst times; and all the best times. Like when I come home from a long day of stress and nagging, or in the middle of hyperventilating. You calm me down in an instant, you are a comfort that no one else can match. 

I turn to you when situations become too much because I'm comfortable with you, not because I'm incompetent to deal with them. Because you give me a great deal of comfort and safety. You are my HOME. That is a title that once belonged to Smiley, but really was yours from day one. You are the person I consider my safe place, the sense of home that I've craved for years. My home wasn't a place like I was searching for, but you. I'm absolutely head over heels for you, in the stage that I'd do just about anything for you. I mean, what happened last month on the eighteenth was all mainly for YOU. I didn't want to lose you, so I did what seemed best. I dashed for it. I dashed for it with the hopes of finding somewhere better for both of us, so I can hear that angelic voice on the daily. That entire time I was just MELTING against the wall, my face red and smiling weirdly wide. I was absolutely lovesick the moment I heard it; a voice as enchanting as I remember; shudder-inducing. Life is full of ups and downs, times where all you want to do is sit down and cry. I've been stuck in that so many times you'd think the only thing I could physically do was cry. Of course, that isn't the case. We all cry; whether you want to admit it or not; even you have cried a good handful of times in your life. Crying is human, it is a way to express ourselves. To express pain, anger, grief, fear, distress, discomfort, desire, and even happiness. I'd be lying if I told you I haven't bawled my eyes off because of you on multiple occasions (good and bad). You make me tear up when you make your loyalty known; but also when I fear losing you. No matter how many times you tell me you're here to stay. And yet those three words, 'here to stay', leave me absolutely SMITTEN.