'The Ramblings Of A Lunatic'

'Smitten Without Doubt'

"Any way you want me, baby, that's the way you got me, I'll be yours." - Poison (Hazbin Hotel)

Life is something that leaves most of us in shreds, it destroys us and pulls us apart. But for some of us, we are lucky to have something motivating us forward, we are lucky to have a little bit of Heaven in this Hell. You are that for me. You are my little slice of Heaven in this Hell of a world, Hell of a lifetime, you are what motivates me forward and keeps me going through thick and thin. Let that be a sketch of you, or actually you. One way or another you keep me going, in mind, in spirit, in thought and dream. Even when I speak with you, you keep me going through it all. I can't find the words to explain how much you make me smile, how much you push me forward, how much you inspire me and motivate me. I sketch and paint with you in mind, I write stories and poetry with you in mind. Jesus Christ, every AI bot I make somehow, some way, has you in mind throughout it. You never leave my mind, you've never left my mind since the moment I met you. Even when I left you were all I seemed to think about. I thought about getting better for you, finding who I was again so I could be that person for you. I left to get better for you, to find myself and be that better part of myself. In the end, you were all the best parts about me. You are my smile, my thoughts and dreams. You are all I hope for in the run of a day. Now, after all that time, I cannot see me without you. I cannot see my thoughts and dreams, my every thought, without you.

"I need your love like it's water, you truly are a beauty, summers just keep getting hotter but not as hot as you be." - Climate Crisis Love Song (Naethan Apollo)

You are the moon to my sun, my very will to live. You are the stars in my night sky, the wind to my sails, you are my other half. Words can't even start to express how important you are to me, how special you are to me. You cause me this sense of comfort, of safety and home. Each and every moment of my day is spent thinking of you, spent dreaming of you and thriving for you. I intend on continuing to do so for the rest of my life, and at some point in person. You by my side, in my arms, with me. I don't want to be without you again, I don't want to lose you again. The thought of being without you truly sends shivers down my spine, it leaves me in tears. At times I'll shower, and after I'll let the water run boiling hot. I'll sit at the bottom with my knees against my chest as I just think; the thinking turning into crying. Now, what was I crying over? I was crying over the thought of losing you. The thought that it'd be back to square one, me without you, you without me. I don't intend to leave your side again without a fight. A very, very brutal fight at that. Knives and punches, kicking and hitting.

"Oh, what a thrill when the crimson starts to spill and my Millie goes in for the kill. She takes away my breath, she's the angel of death for me." - Oh Millie (Helluva Boss)

No matter what you do, you will always be purely jaw-droppin' in my eyes, utter royalty. You could beat me, hit me, lock me up for hours and my views on you would never change. You could lash out on me, yell at me, tell me off and I'd still never leave your side. In reality, you could do whatever you wanted to me and I'd still be head over boots for you. When I say this, I'm not saying just to make the goodnight sound perfect; I'm saying it because it's nothing but the honest to God truth. Everything I say in my good mornings and goodnights, they are all truths. I've never once lied in a good morning or goodnight, or much overall to you. My honesty is as honest as it can get, as honest as expected. Everything I've ever called you, that was utter honesty. Calling you stunning, sweet, adorable, kind, loving, utterly perfect from the top of your head to the tips of your toes; that was all the utter truth. You are purely perfection, Jesus Christ, even your imperfections seem to be perfection. You bring out all the best parts of me, you are the best part of me. When I meet someone, you're normally one of the first things that fly out of my mouth; ranting on about how much you mean to me. How much I'd do for you, how much I care for you.

"I'm a soft guy by skin and a mean one at heart. So if you touch my lover, I will tear your world apart." - Yr The Best! (carpetgarden)

I've never met someone quite like you, quite like how you make me feel. You make me feel like I'm sailing across calm seas, like I'm about to go cliff diving. You send me from smitten to thrilled in only bare seconds. The way you make me feel is so unique that I'm not too sure anyone else has ever quite felt this way before. People say that calm, well-with words, brilliant, highly educated, selfless, responsible partners are the best you can find. Sure, all of those things are wonderful traits to have in a partner, but they aren't what I want. I want a partner that will survive through the zombie apocalypse with me, a partner that'd jump in puddles in their socks with me, a partner that has a fun side; that isn't afraid to be a little crazy and speak their mind. My moon, you are all of those things and many, many more. You bring the fun into my boring life, you make me both crazy and sane. You bring all of the fun out of me, you bring out the adventure in me. You drive this sane man purely insane; but in all the best ways. Now, I'm not saying that you aren't any of those things, because you are many of them. You are patient, when it comes to certain things. You are smart with many, many topics; such as cars! I consider you selfless at times, more than you'd think. And you are rather responsible, you truly are. Not to mention your beauty and love for cats on top of it all! You are the man I would dream of as a young child, the man I wished for on birthday candles.

"See, someone said don't drink her potions. She'll kiss your neck with no emotion. When she's mean, you know you love it. She tastes so sweet, don't sugarcoat it." - Sweet But Psycho (Ava Max)

I was once told that if something was truly meant to be, nothing would stop you from getting it. I believe that we are meant to be, hence why nothing has stopped us yet. Hence why we're still here no matter what we've gone through, I believe it will always be this way. Words, actions, poems and songs could never fully explain how you make me feel; how I feel about you. They wouldn't even start to tell you these things. Yet each and every day I try to find the correct words to explain this, and I will until the day I pass on. I will write endless good mornings and good nights to explain these feelings piece by piece. Even after death, I plan on doing this. I'll send undead messages, little symbols to show how much you mean to me. The last words I mutter? They'll be 'jeg elsker deg'. The last person I'll see and hold? That'll be you. You are the last thing I want to see. Arms Tonite by Mother Mother explains this partly, as well as many other songs and poems.

"You had me hooked again from the minute you sat down, the way you bite your lip got my head spinning around. After a drink or two, I was putty in your hands, I don't know if I have the strength to stand." - Troublemaker (Olly Murs)

If I ever went silent or I ever just vanished, I'd want you to read over my good mornings and my goodnights. I'd want you to tell me about your day, how you were feeling, and all that like I was still there. You could send small highlights or big ones, it'd just be the thought that'd count. It wouldn't just be a coping method to me, but one to you. Sure, I might not answer, but you'd have someone to rant and rant to. You could do that now, just so you know. If I'm not there physically or verbally, I'm there mentally and spiritually. Through thick and thin, Heaven and Hell, loss and gain, through whatever life throws at you and I. I'd like to thank you for everything you've done lately, for all your patience and care. It's meant the world to me, it means more than the world to me. Thank you for the late nights, the early mornings, and everything in between it all. It means a lot, you mean a lot to me.

"They say we're losers and we're alright with that, we are the leaders of the not coming backs, but we're alright though. Yeah, we're alright though. We are the kings and the queens of the new broken scene, yeah, we're alright though." - She's Kinda Hot (5 Seconds Of Summer)

'Jeg elsker deg' are words meant for your one and only, for the person that makes you, well, you. From day one you've been that person for me. Through thick and thin, you've been that person for me. Through Heaven and Hell, you've been that person for me. You are my one and only, the person I gave my heart away to completely. You are my forever, my lifetime, you are mine.

"She likes to give a smile to every stranger, she loves to get her ass in any danger." - She's crazy but she's mine (Alex Sparrow)