Everything We Would've Been

Chapter Eleven: Emilia

August 2023 . . .

I thought I'd be able to catch a break once I got home but I was so wrong. Just two days before I got back from Milan, Candace texted to let me know that Connor was back and so was Xander. And my nightmare officially began before I even set foot in the country.

I tried my best to keep my distance but it was harder than one would assume since we lived together. I spent more nights at Andre's place than I care to count. Some nights I just went there after work to get some rest, a peaceful night's sleep and some nights he'd fuck me into oblivion where there wasn't a Connor I was in love with.

My anxiety is not exactly behaving these days. Seeing Connor and Xander everywhere in my house is its own kind of torture and it's making me anxious. Not being able to sleep much has made me drink more coffee than I usually do. And now the new professor is intimidating as hell.

I was taking half breaths all morning. I was on edge, keeping a pending attack at bay. When he said hello, I felt his voice was familiar. But it wasn't until he was writing on the whiteboard that I noticed he was the guy in front of us at the café. He must have heard what Candace had said about him. But I didn't have time to dwell on it. I was already behind and I hated it. The thing is I'm never behind. I wasn't going to give him an excuse to look at me like that again, like I was causing him inconvenience, wasting his precious time.

The studio was empty so I took advantage of the peace and quiet to work. I had no sense of time when I worked. I barely noticed my surroundings. Connor always joked that even if bombs were to fall while I was working, I wouldn't notice. He wasn't wrong though. I only noticed him when my sight got blocked by a brown paper bag. When I looked up, I saw Connor sitting on the corner of my desk holding the bag.

"Sorry about last night," he said, an apologetic smile lighting up his face.

I sighed, took the paper bag, and opened it, a cheeseburger with fries and coke. Connor and Xander were watching a movie last night and just as I thought they'd shut up and let me sleep, they decided having sex in the room next to mine at two in the morning was a good idea. I rushed out of the room with my headphones in seconds but I couldn't get the noises Connor made out of my head. Oh, how much I wanted to make him groan like that and call my name. But I couldn't.

"Okay! You're forgiven," I lied as I took out the burger.

He just chuckled. Well, he knew how to apologize when he made me mad. He'd learned it a long time ago; when we were still kids to be exact. But this wasn't something only a lunch could fix. I needed to wash my ears with bleach to dim the memories of last night.

"How's your project going?"

"Not bad. I'm just a little behind, I think."

He slid down my desk and stood behind me to take a look at my project. As he leaned closer to get a better look, his breath brushed my neck, warm and arousing. That's when I realized this was the first time we were alone in a long time, probably since the party if not before that.

"Well, considering you're exhausted and off you're A-game, I'd say you're doing pretty well."

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until he sat down on my desk again and I let it out. He was way too close and I couldn't let my mind slip his way.

"Hey, we were talking about the new professor. What do you think about him? I mean he's pretty hot and all but what the fuck is his deal?"

"You might wanna tone it down a little. He might come back any second now," I said as I got a glimpse of the clock on the wall.

"Yeah! That would be awkward."

"Yeah! I know all too well," I said and took a bite of my burger as he kept looking at me in confusion. "When I walked in this morning, I said hi to him like he was a new transfer student, not our new professor."