Lost

Chapter 30 - Balcony

The two of them stood in silence, letting the distant hum of the California cityscape fill the empty space between them. The city lights glowed softly, muted by a thin veil of smog that clung to the horizon. The hotel wasn't in the nicest part of town—most of the buildings around them looked worn down, with chipped paint and flickering signs barely holding onto their neon glow. Streetlights cast a harsh yellow tint over the cracked sidewalks below, where the occasional car rumbled past. The whole area had a certain grittiness that was a stark reminder of how they hadn't broken away from home as much as they thought they had.

Guilt stung Ace's chest and plagued his mind as he couldn't shake it. He wanted to have gone to a great place in California, a fancy place, one where they'd have bathrobes and complementary room service because you were paying so much for the hotel anyways.

But that was the dream.

Not a reality ... not yet. Ace had to remind himself, knowing that he was working his ass off to make that dream a reality for himself, his best friend, and his baby sister.

Caleb's hand stayed on Ace's shoulder, his touch grounding him as he stared out, his gaze unfocused. Ace could feel the weight of what had just happened, like a stone pressing down on him. Jodee's scared eyes, her shaking little voice, the way she clung to him as if he was her entire world—it all lingered in his mind, tugging at him more than he'd care to admit. Being stern with her was necessary, he knew that, but watching her break down like that... it didn't sit right. Part of him wanted to go back inside and tuck her in himself, to whisper that he wasn't really mad, that she was safe with them. But he kept his place by the railing, fists resting on the cold metal as he let his frustrations settle. His palms were begging him to let go and provide some relief but he didn't let up. He deserved it.

"It's just... hard sometimes," Ace muttered, his voice barely audible over the city noise. Caleb's head switched to his friend immediately — Ace never opened up first, only upon prompting. "I don't ..." He took a break, his eyes rolling up into his head. "I don't wanna be..." His teeth ground together when he forced them open to finish his sentence. "The bad guy. I don't want ... that." Ace took in a deep breath. "But I have to be." He huffed out, finally releasing his hands. "She's got to learn."

Beside him, Caleb's hand rested on his shoulder, grounding him. "You did the right thing, man," Caleb murmured, breaking the silence. "She might not understand it now, but she'll remember."

Ace looked down, his jaw clenched. He let out a slow breath, watching the faint mist of his breath dissolve in the cool night air. "I just... I don't want her to be afraid of me." He admitted.

"She's not." Cal responded abruptly. Softening when he realized how harsh his town was.

"But she needs to listen." Ace countered firmly. His sentence picked up exactly how it left off, leading Caleb to think his friend just ignored his comment. "It's like... I want her to feel — feel safe. Safe ... You know?" His hand balled up into fists and he ran his knuckles against the railing.

Caleb opened his mouth to say something, but shut it when he realized what was happening.

Ace didn't really speak much and he never opened up. A little bit, that part of him was saved only for his best friend, but even that — Ace never spoke his innermost thoughts to Caleb. Cal was an open book to A, maybe even too much, but Ace just had a harder time doing that. But tonight was different, Ace was actually opened up and talked to Cal about his doubts. Caleb decided that at this time it was best for Ace to let it out.

"But tonight... I saw how — I saw how... how easy it is for her to get carried away..." He trailed off, glancing over at the dim city lights. "This is a different world... a different life."