In Another Life

Repentance

As he cried, hours passed. Time finally felt as if it moved after so long, Curly laid there, almost swaddled like a child in Anya’s arms as she pats his head and his back, looking at him before closing her eyes

“..Curly”

“...Yes?”

He answered her, his voice soft, hoarse even, but he looked at her with such a soft expression, scared of upsetting her.

“..Do you want to go outside?”

He slowly broke away from her comforting embrace, looking at her with that glint of curiosity in his eyes

“Outside?...”

She nodded, smiling at him as she stood up, adjusting herself as she extends her hand out to him, offering him to take her hand as she looked down at him from above, he kneels there for a moment, looking up at her as he extends his hand, hesitant to hold hers but reaching over to grab and stand up with her help after a bit of thinking

“Alright, Where to?”

He asked, looking at her as he held her hand for a bit, wanting to hold onto her for a bit longer, scared of losing her again, even in death as he tilted his head at her like a curious golden retriever.

“Here, follow me”

She holds his hand back, leading him through the wall of the Tuplar, outside to the endless vastness of the universe, the galaxy as the ship wanders aimlessly in space. Phasing through the metal as ghosts till they reached the roof, finally letting go of one another as Anya sat down and pats the seat beside her for him to join her stargazing.

Curly, amazed at the vastness outside, eagerly sat down, staring up and looking around the wandering space outside, his work life, the firing, managing the crew and everything..he didn’t realize how much it consumed him and finally relaxing in death, he took a deep breath, one that didn’t feel suffocating for the first time in forever.

A silence between the two for a bit as she looked up at the stars, he too did so, the two of them spending eternity like this wasn’t so bad.

“...I love watching the stars..finally seeing them like this…it feels like a dream come true, no dead pixels..no artificial lights..only us and the silence of the universe”

She spoke out, a smile creeping onto her face as she lays down a bit on the roof, letting her thoughts take charge for a bit, Curly on the other hand, lets out a small ‘Mhm’ as he watches the sight in awe, being this free in death, it felt liberating…Maybe this was why Anya had killed herself back in the medical bay, if it was to escape and to be free like this…Then who could ever take that away from her? After everything she’s been through, this was something she deserved, for herself.

“..If you’re here, where are the others?”

He asked, curious as to where Daisuke and Swansea are, Jimmy was barely of any concern to him, he could rot alone for all he cares at this point for what he put him and the crew through with his shitty reign as captain.

“Oh, they were here earlier but..they left before you, maybe they saw all they wanted and wished to move on..”

He was surprised and taken aback a bit when she mentioned that, looking towards her in curiosity

“Moved on? You mean, to the afterlife?”

“It would seem so…”

A silence befalls upon the two of them again, he looked guilty once more, which made Anya sit up and approach him a little, looking almost sad at him

“Oh curly..”

“...Sorry for ruining the mood, i just..” he holds the back of his neck, nervous now “I didn’t think that moving on was possible..i just thought after death it would be..just this, wandering as a ghost for eternity”

He chuckled nervously at her, which garnered a small smile from her as she sighs

“I kind of thought we’d wander aimlessly in space actually..like darkness around us..”

He nodded, thinking the same as he falls back silent again, but his thoughts wander a bit again, Anya, sensing this, lets out a sigh as she brings her knees up to her face, eyes peeking up at him

“You know..before you joined me as a ghost, I was thinking about how to confront you..and the things you’ve dismissed just because Jimmy was your friend..”

Hearing this, Curly’s attention came back towards her, a chill down his spine and his words lodged in this throat, that suffocating feeling rising back once more, a pit within his stomach as he looked at Anya with an expression of guilt once more, his hands trembling a bit

“A-Anya..I..”

“..Please, let me finish, Captain…” She stopped him, wanting him to hear her out “I know you regard Jimmy as your close friend, the things you’ve done to help him get to this position, but surely you didn’t mean to ignore us maliciously, right captain?”

Her eyes facing him, He could only say nothing as he shakes his head, a sense of disappointment within Anya makes itself known in her expression.

“I see…”

“...I…I’m so sorry Anya, I wanted what was best for everyone…Whatever thought you have of me though…i’m not a hero. I dismissed your worries and what Jimmy did to you that night. I don’t think i can ever forgive myself for that, even if you forgive me”

“...I know Curly…But I’m glad we could have this chat, I also..thought about something that I’ve wanted to say for awhile..If there’s a next life, like reincarnation..I want you to live a good life, Curly. Maybe..not a best life, there are still things to be repented for…but a good life nonetheless..I don’t hate you, Curly. I really don’t. But sometimes I wish, you could’ve done things better when we were still alive”

He was starting to tear up again, choking up with his tears as he looked at her

“im..so sorry…”

She looked at him, nodding as she wandered over to wrap her arms around him, leaning his head back on her shoulder. Patting his back as he sinks onto her, crying harder as he trembles in her arms.

“...Can we stay like this..? For a while?” He asked, shamefully

“Of course” She replied, comfortingly