My Journey to Me

Chapter V: Between The Lines

The weeks following the gala were a blur of events, but Zishang couldn't seem to shake the feeling of uncertainty. Every time she thought she might have taken a step toward herself, another layer of responsibility would come crashing down. It was as though the Gong family was a constant, heavy presence, always looming over her, reminding her of the path she was supposed to walk. Yet, she couldn't deny that something in her had changed—there was a new hunger, a desire for something beyond the gilded cage of her life.

The days spent with Jin Fan had been brief but meaningful. He was intelligent, confident, and had a quiet charm that Zishang found incredibly attractive. They spent hours talking about everything and nothing—his projects, her family, and even their dreams for the future. But every time she tried to ask him more about himself, about his life beyond the occasional meetings, he would deflect. His work was his life. His commitment to it was unwavering.

Zishang knew he was busy—she had seen how hectic his schedule was firsthand, how he was constantly pulled in a thousand directions, managing deals, meetings, and projects. But it wasn't just that. Jin Fan seemed to wear his distance like a shield, hiding behind his professional demeanor. It was as though there was an invisible wall between them, one that he had built brick by brick over the years, and Zishang couldn't figure out how to break through.

That was the part that frustrated her the most: she didn't know if he didn't want her to get close, or if it was simply a matter of priorities.

She was sitting in the small café once again, her fingers drumming nervously on the edge of her cup, waiting for him. It had become a sort of routine, meeting here when their schedules aligned, a quiet space away from the noise of their worlds. Jin Fan had agreed to meet her today, but as usual, she wasn't sure how long it would last.

He was always early, always punctual, but today Zishang felt the weight of his absence more keenly than before.

The door chimed, and Zishang looked up to see him walk in. There was a certain grace to the way he moved—effortless, confident. And yet, as he approached her table, she noticed the familiar tension in his shoulders, the tiredness in his eyes.

"Hey," he greeted with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Sorry I'm late. Had a few things come up."

Zishang waved it off, trying to hide the disappointment she felt. "It's okay. You're here now."

They settled into the usual rhythm, casual small talk about work, the family, the latest project Zishang was involved in. But beneath the surface, Zishang couldn't ignore the frustration growing inside her. She had told herself to be patient, to understand his commitments, but it was getting harder to pretend it didn't hurt when he never made time for anything beyond his work.

She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Jin Fan, don't you ever feel like you need a break? Like you just want to... escape everything for a while?"

He blinked at her, surprised by the sudden change in tone. "I don't really have that luxury. My work is my responsibility. The things I do—it's not just for me. It affects others."

Zishang frowned. "But what about you? What about your own life? Don't you ever want to do something just for yourself?"

He hesitated, his fingers tapping absentmindedly on his cup. "Maybe. But right now, it's not about me. I've got things I need to do. People are counting on me."

Zishang's heart sank, the weight of his words hitting her harder than she expected. She knew what he meant—he was driven by his purpose, his career, and the lives he could change through his work. But it felt as if he was distancing himself not just from the world around him, but from her as well.

"Okay," she said, forcing a smile. "But one day, you'll have to take a step back, Jin Fan. You can't just work yourself into the ground. There's more to life than just being busy all the time."

He met her gaze, his expression softening for a moment. "I know. Maybe one day. But for now, this is what I have to do."

Zishang nodded, understanding. But deep down, she couldn't shake the feeling that no matter how much she tried to break through, Jin Fan was always going to be out of reach. He had built his entire world around his work, and there was no room for anything else—at least not right now.