Hi, my name is Nikki. I work an exceptionally average job at a warehouse that is shutting down in about two weeks. The owners are retiring, and I, along with about 6 other people, will be out of jobs.
Sometimes, I feed the crows at my job. I wonder if they will miss me when I no longer show up.
Anyways, sometimes I wonder if the way I think is normal. Especially when I have nothing to think about but the things I come up with. For example; I'll think of conversations way too far in advance. It'll go a little something like this in my head:
"If I said _______ to _______, and they responded with _______, how would I respond to that? How would they react? If I said ________, would I get a positive reaction? Should I tweak my hypothetical response? Is this how this person exists in my mind? Am I crazy? Is this anxiety?" And then I top it off with a little bit of "what would happen if I ran my car into a lightpost?"
I run a lot of violent hypotheticals in my head. I'm not sure why. Sometimes, they're comforting, and sometimes, I catch the reality of my thoughts. They're never things that I would actually do, just a little sprinkle of intrusive thoughts.
I was breaking down a shelving unit at work the other day and almost accidently hit a light bulb with a metal beam. My immediate thought wasn't "Oh, close call! Whew!" It was a vibrant reenactment in my head of what would happen if I had hit the lighbulb while I was looking up, and a million shards of glass landed in my eyes. So that was cool. Now, for some reason, I'm thinking of the song "All The Small Things" by Blink-182.
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A Look Inside My Head
Short StoryI'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this story. It's a look inside my head. There may be poems. There may be stories of how I thought of things when I was a kid. There will be descriptions of the way I think, and hopefully comments from you a...
