A Dance With The Reaper

003

(Image related, its mikeys fault 🙏)

I think I just spit out my fucking tooth.

I let my anger get the best of me and stepped in between some fight with Uzaba kurokawa and the first division captain. I don't even know why, my body kinda just acted on its own when I saw him getting his ass beat.

It just resulted in me getting my ass beat in the end. It hurt like hell, but im not gonna show him that. If it hadn't been for me being a chick, and his friend having some kind of moral code, I don't think anyone would have stopped Izana from killing me.

"What happened to you kicking my ass? You were talking so big just a minute ago!" He said, his tone taunting and his voice grating. Fucking cocky prick.

"What happened to killing me? Can't do it if daddy Kaku doesn't approve?" I snapped back. If looks could kill, I'd have already sent him to a family reunion.

I wipe my mouth, trying to reign in my anger. I don't think any of the men in Toman would care if I snapped and hurt him, but that annoyingly shrill voice of my mother is always screaming in the back of my head when I think of hurting someone.

Its always telling me to behave.

My mom makes sure to tell me how disappointing I am, how irritating I am, how much she wished I would run away by now, how much I ruined her life.

She's a ray of sunshine, though. Ask anyone. I'm always the reason for her bad behavior, I'm always the reason why she cries herself to sleep. Definitely not the assortment of mental illnesses that she refuses to get treated for.

He just tilted his head. Fuck him and his stupid unique features. I hope he finds out he's adopted because his worthless parents never wanted him.

I wish him the worst in life, I really do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Getting home that night with a swollen eye was hard, but not impossible. Safe to say, I lost that fight. On purpose, of course.

I avoided my mom. Im not in the mood for her disapproving looks right now.

I looked in the mirror, cringing at the condition I was in. Damn, Im in bad shape.

After cleaning my face and rinsing out my mouth, I found out that he had, in fact, chipped one of my teeth, and I had bitten my tongue. Great. Now ive gotta find some way to cover this without telling anyone. My mom would be suspicious if I had just randomly started wearing makeup one day.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this life. Maybe. I still want to fight people, but I always want the upper hand. I want to be backed up, so anything I do is legal.

That's why I became a cop. Right then and there, I decided I'd become a cop.

No, I don't still think that way. As of right now, I avoid fights. That damn chip in my tooth and scar on my lip is a good reminder that I'm not a fighter.

Seeing his damn face with that stupid smirk on it still pisses me off. I can't stand how beat up I was compared to him. It makes me want to track him down- if he's even still alive. His fucking friend survived, so maybe he did too and hes just hiding from me.

Ugh. I hate this. I hate my damn life. I hate that I always have this empty void inside of me.

I hate that I'm 25, and I still haven't found a husband or had kids. I hate that I'm not normal. I hate my coworkers, I hate the world.

Call it whatever you want, I've probably been called worse. Truth is, I don't think I've mentally matured past 17. I'm just like my mother.

Sometimes, I think she was right about me. This past week had told me how useless I am. How I'm not the best like I thought I was. It pisses me off.

Though, every single fucking time I've gotten upset this passed week, I just remember those damn eyes, those violet eyes and that pretty face.

Don't I hate pretty boys, though? I can't remember. All I remember are those eyes, how good that suit looks on him, that stupid hair cut.

Why am I so obsessed with him?

This isn't normal...