Heart Mediation

Do you always have to lose me first before you start to appreciate me?

Why do you only see me when I'm gone?

When i'm there, giving it all for good, it feels like don't exist. But the moment I'm gone, it's like a light bulb goes off in your mind. How does my absence speak louder than my presence ever did?

I always tried to stand by you, to be there when you needed me, and to listen when no one else would. I thought that would mean something. But over time, it started to feel like all my efforts were slipping away, unnoticed, like sand falling through an hourglass. Maybe you just got used to me always being there, assuming I'd never leave.

Then, when I'm gone, you start missing me. Suddenly, you remember all those nights I stayed up late to talk with you or the times I went out of my way to make sure you were okay. It's like the space i left behind became too big to ignore, and only then did you start to realize the pieces of me that i gave you.

It's frustrating to only be appreciated when I'm gone. I don't want to be someone you remember fondly after the fact. I want to be seen while I'm still here, not as a memory you look back on when it's already too late.

That's what hurts the most. Knowing I had to leave, had to put space between us, for you to finally understand what I meant to you. It makes me wonder if all the things I did for you ever really mattered or if they were just taken for granted because I never asked for anything in return.

I never wanted to play games, never wanted to make you miss me on purpose just so I'd feel valued. But somehow, it always ends up like that. It's as if I need to disappear for you to finally see me. And by the time you do, I'm already too tired to keep trying.

Why does it take losing me for you to realize what I was worth all along?