Heart Mediation

I thought i didn't need words until i heard one

For the longest time, I thought words were just my thing. I was the one who had them ready, whether to comfort, to fill silences, or to make sense of what I was feeling. If someone needed reassurance, I had the right phrases. If someone was in pain, I had a way of putting things that seemed to help. I'd gotten used to the idea that I was the one who had the words for every situation, and somehow, I'd convinced myself that I didn't need anyone else's. I was always the one handing out the words, never waiting to hear them.

But then something shifted. Someone said something that I didn't even know I needed to hear. It wasn't a grand speech or some deep, life-changing monologue. It was simple, but it hit me differently. It caught me off guard, made me pause, and questioned why I had never allowed myself to hear what I had been giving out for so long.

Before that moment, I thought I could figure everything out on my own. I had believed that as long as I could speak my truth, as long as I could put my emotions into sentences, I was okay. The idea of relying on someone else's words felt unnecessary. But hearing what they said, it did something to me. It made me realize I had been talking so much that I never gave anyone else the chance to be the one who spoke. I was so busy giving comfort, advice, and reassurance that I forgot how much of an impact someone else's words could have on me.

It was strange because, in that moment, I wasn't looking for anything. I wasn't lost, sad, or searching for meaning. Yet, when those words were spoken, I felt something shift inside. I thought I was strong in my own independence, thinking that I didn't need anyone to say thethings I'd been saying for years. But hearing them come from someone else, hearing them directed at me, made all the difference. It was like someone had reached into my chest and pulled out the silence I didn't know was weighing me down.

I had spent so long thinking I didn't need to hear certain words because I knew them by heart. After all, I was the one who had been saying them. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe I was so wrapped up in being the voice for others that I forgot to listen, even to myself. I didn't realize how much I needed to hear what I had been giving away.

When they said it, it was like the noise in my head quieted down for the first time in a long while. All the thoughts buzzing around, all the doubts I hadn't even admitted to myself - they all went still. And it wasn't because the words were magic or revolutionary, but because they were exactly what I needed. The simplicity of someone else recognizing me, giving voice to what I had been too busy to admit, change everything.

I had been so sure I didn't need anyone's words because I had my own. But the truth is, sometimes, we don't know what we need until it's handed to us by someone else. Sometimes, the words we need to hear the most are the ones we've been saying to everyone but ourselves. That moment made me realize how much I'd been missing by thinking I had to have all the answers. I had never truly heard someone else's perspective or let their words settle in. And maybe that's what I had been avoiding - letting someone else's words matter as much as mine.

Sometimes, the words we need the most are the ones we've been too busy saying to everyone but ourselves.