Depths of Gloom (Stan x Kenny)

8

"Are you guys seriously this fucking gay?" Cartman cackled and pointed, his only go-to move when it came to making fun of Kenny. "You're already up each other's asses enough, but this really takes the fucking cake!"

It was seven on Wednesday morning, and for some horrible reason, Cartman decided to knock on the Marsh's door. Naturally, when Stan got up to answer it, Kenny protectively went with him; it wasn't like the blonde, but he'd been clinging to his best friend for days now. The vulnerability from the other night kept him mostly mute, too.

"Dude, why the hell are you here?" Stan grumbled, keeping Kenny behind him by the hem of his t-shirt. Maybe, it did look a bit strange to their friend, they were nearly on top of each other.

Sighing like this was a huge inconvenience for him, Cartman picked at his stained shirt lazily. "You guys didn't hear?" They exchanged a confused look. "Craig and Clyde totally got in a fight after school yesterday, and they got suspended. Retards! But, they were supposed to be my ride 'cause Jew-fro has tutoring, or some other stupid shit. Stuck with you assholes. If you guys are too busy fucking-"

"Aw, fat boy doesn't have any other friends!" Kenny chimed in, a grin splitting his previously serious face.

His face turned a slight pink at the jab. "I have other friends, Kenny! Fuck you! You guys are just closest to my house!"

The sleepy blonde rolled his eyes. "You can't walk alone?"

Stan chuckled. "Nah, he might have a heart attack on his way there."

"Ha! Oh, god forbid someone misses his ranting about Diablo, and Skyrim, too!"

"Elden Ring, Kinny!" The shortest barked, his arms crossed over his chest like he always did when he thought he could win. "I was totally gonna give you guys some edibles my mom made, but whatever. I'll just give them to Scott, or Butters, or something. Have it your way, ball lickers!"

For the second time within five minutes, the two best friends exchanged a look. Kenny smirked as he saw the same thought spark to life in Stan; they were often on the same wavelength, even on the worst days.

"Fine, asshole." Stan sighed. He moved backwards, stepping fully into Kenny to let the other through: "We'll be ready in ten. Don't make us fucking late."

Unknowingly, when he moved back into Kenny to let Cartman inside, Stan had pressed back entirely into him. So, as Stan went upstairs to finish getting ready for school, Kenny had to covertly adjust himself, and quell any dirty thoughts. What a fucking nightmare.

And, it continued as Cartman smirked at him from the couch. Naturally, he saw everything. "I knew it."

Kenny didn't care. "Well, yeah."

Surprised that he wasn't denying it, Cartman dropped his antagonistic demeanor. It was interesting, almost as if he cared about the blonde in some way - that thought almost made Kenny collapse with laughter. He may have been friends with the guy, but he knew Cartman was a narcissistic psychopath, and there was no changing that.

"So, you guys gonna date, or what?" He played off any interest as he rifled in the bag next to the couch for something.

A tupperware of edibles was set on the coffee table. Kenny looked between him, and the twelve brownies, baffled by the fact that he was being nice. He didn't trust it, too many times in the past he'd been fooled by Cartman. "What are you playing at?"

The facade broke. A devious grin splayed across his lips again as Cartman leaned back into the couch. "Oh, nothing. Do you not trust me, Kinny?"

The footsteps bounding down the stairs interrupted the conversation, but Kenny refused to look away from him, glaring into his soul in hopes it would ignite in roaring flames. No matter what, if Cartman was planning something, things were guaranteed to get fucked up. Life had already taken a mind-boggling twist, they didn't need any outside, evil interference manipulating things for pure enjoyment.