Cyberpunk 2077: You Shall Never Have To Forgive Me Again

Ch. 6 You Look Lonely

This thing with Panam wasn't going to work. There's no way it could. V had too much baggage, too many lies spiraling out of control, not to mention she was fucking dying. She didn't have much longer, a couple weeks probably, if she couldn't find a way into Mikoshi. And she was getting worse. That morning after saving Saul had seen her almost hacking up a lung, the headache pounding through her almost enough to make her pass out, the pain in her chest and throat like a hot knife tearing through her insides. The amount of blood that came out of her face each time this happened was a little unnerving, pouring out of her nose and mouth.

Thankfully Panam had woken up before her and stepped outside, helping Cassidy deal with Saul and his multitude of cracked ribs and skull fractures, so she didn't hear the exorcising happening in the shack's bathroom. V really didn't feel like dealing with that on top of the heavy rush of feelings she got from seeing Panam on a motorcycle, backlit by the morning sun and being a cute mixture of nervous and excited.

V had been nervous herself, unsure if Panam was maybe thinking differently after having slept or if she didn't like PDA and needed to act natural with Cassidy and Saul nearby; she thinks Panam may have been thinking the same about her. But when Panam had started up the bike and played with the throttle, V panicked, not wanting to let her go without... doing something to reinforce her feelings, show Panam that she really did want to try this with her. So V grabbed her by the lapels of her synth-leather Aldecaldo emblazoned jacket and yanked her closer, smashing their lips together. Panam stumbled a little on the bike, caught by surprise, but was quick to recover and soon had her lips moving against V's, soft but no less passionate. If V heard a whistle in the background, no she didn't.

V was still a little dizzy from the kiss as she watched Panam take off into the desert, off to do some recon on the Wraiths for the Aldecaldos. In another life V would've offered to help, but...

There was a lot on her mind now. She wanted to be with Panam, more than she thought she'd ever want to be with someone, with an alpha no less. If Jackie were still here she wouldn't ever hear the end of it. He'd be happy for her either way, but Jackie was never one to miss a chance to rib someone. He would like Panam, she knows it. She was different; maybe just as impulsive and loud as any other alpha stereotype but she was much more than that. She was proud, loyal, honest, scared, lost, thoughtful... human.

Panam was human, more than just her presentation. V had already started looking past her second-gender label that first night with her. The alpha was somehow able to get past her walls so easily, it was scary almost. Maybe V was getting weak; having your mortality hanging over your head in the way that V had would probably make anyone reconsider a lot of things in their life. But no, she knew it wasn't that. Her experiences with alphas were not suddenly washed away, erased and making her soft to just anyone. Panam was different. And she was alive, healthy. She didn't deserve to get involved with someone who most likely wouldn't be around in a month...

'Givin' up already?'

Johnny, please...

Johnny materialized on the couch in her Little China apartment, a digital cigarette already lit. V wonders why he even bothers with that since he can't get the full effect. Maybe it's purely habit, or maybe he gets some sense of catharsis from the act alone, real or not.

He leans on his knees, one hand holding the cig up, the other idling, shades always obscuring his eyes.

'Didn't realize those 'Saka bastards put me in the body of a pussy.'

Johnny shook his head, like he was disappointed or something, like he'd rather have been put in some other mercs brain.

I never said I was givin' up. I'm allowed to be a little fucking tired.