Sometimes Life is Just Too Hard

One Week Later

The first thing Dan was aware of before he opened his eyes was that the room he was in was startlingly bright, and there was a throbbing pain throughout his body. He had no idea what had happened to him after he blanked out, someone must of phoned an ambulance. He opened his eyes slightly, and could feel someone holding his hand. Sitting up, he realised the person attached to his hand was none other than Phil. He was lying asleep with his head on the edge of the bed, holding Dan's hand tightly. Dan laughed slightly, making Phil jerk awake.

"You're awake." Phil said, smiling with relief.

"I guess so. What happened?" Dan replied, pushing himself into a sitting position.

"I should ask you the same thing." Phil laughed. "A man found you lying on the ground in the old park surrounded by your own blood, said it looked like an attack. He phoned the ambulance, they brought you here, found out your details and phoned me. You've been out for a full week."

Dan nodded, "Iv been out a full week? Danosaurs will be wondering where the hell I am. Yeah, it was an attack. Group of about 6 or 7, called me a fag, said I don't deserve anything Iv got and stuff. Which is true. Then they started beating the crap out of me, and then I was stabbed."

Phil's face contorted with anger, and he stretched across the bed to hug Dan.

"Don't you dare believe them, Dan, you do deserve the things you've got. You have worked hard, I swear if I see any of them, I'll kill them. And I tweeted saying you were ill, don't worry." Phil whispered into Dan's ear.

They pulled apart and Dan nodded. 

"But there's one thing I don't deserve, and that's you, Phil. Can we go home?" Dan asked.

Phil nodded and went to sign him out. Dan got changed into clothes that Phil had brought for him and they left the hospital side by side.

When they arrived home, Dan sunk into his usual spot on the sofa and Phil sat next to him. They turned on the TV and watched movies til 1am, laughing and joking as normal.

"I better get to bed, I'll see you in the morning, night Dan." Phil said, getting up and going to his room.

"Night Phil." Dan called back and continued to watch TV.

At 2:30am Dan finally decided to go to bed, but stopped outside Phil's bedroom. It sounded like he was crying.

"Phil?" He said, knocking on the door. "Phil, is everything OK?"

He heard shuffling behind the door, and then it opened.

"I'm fine, was just watching videos as usual." Phil said, obviously not wanting to talk.

Dan sensed this and nodded, but couldn't get over the feeling that Phil was crying because of him.

"Oh OK, well I'll see you in the morning then, night." Dan said, turning towards his bedroom.

Phil sniffed a goodnight and closed his door again. Dan lay awake for ages, thoughts rushing through his head.

You hurt Phil. This is all your fault. You don't deserve a single thing, Worthless, that's what you are. A stupid, ugly, worthless fag. All you do is hurt people. You shouldn't be here. You're worthless. Absolutely worthless.

Suddenly Dan couldn't take it anymore, he raced to his desk, rummaged around and pulled out a sharpener. He unscrewed it and took out the blade. Crying softly, he sat down in the corner and took the blade to his skin. 

In the four large cuts he made on his arm, was the build up of years of bullying and hurt, self hatred and pain. 

He cried himself to sleep like that, sat in the corner with blood trickling down his arm.