Shrimpbowl Oneshots!!

guh

Because the update is taking so long, I'm letting you goobers view what I have so far of my fish jokes and facts for when I write finn. I have no clue when I'm gonna build up the will to fin-ish it, so take this as an apology.

Conversational puns:

I feel that in my 'sole' (soul)
Gill/buoy of my dreams
Sturgeon = surgeon
Salmon = someone
Oh my cod!
What the shell?
I'll be 'fin' and out before you know it! (In and out)
Krill = kill
Carp = crap
'Seal' the deal
Whale, whale, whale... (well, well, well...)
Squid = did (Ex. Look at what you squid!)
O-fish-al (official)
Fin-tastic (fantastic)
Gill-iant (brilliant)
Drop the 'bass' (I feel a beat coming on...)
Walk the plankton (walk the plank)
For heaven's 'hake'... (sake)
Squidding = kidding (Ex. Just squidding around!)
Turtle disaster (total disaster)
Ex-squid-it (exquisite)
Ink (like ink from squids) = think
The last 'craw' (straw)
Fin-ished
De-bait-able (Debatable)
Sounds fishy...
Don't trout yourself! (Don't doubt yourself)
Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty! (Opportunity)
You 'betta' believe it!
You're kraken me up!
You're just jellyfish (jelly/jealous)
You 'octopi' my heart (Occupy)
Squidnapped / squidnappers (kidnapped / kidnappers)
Royally 'scrud' (royally screwed)
I've been 'herring' all about it (hearing)
Feel my 'wrase'! (Wrath)
Don't give me that crab-itude (attitude)
Don't be shellfish (selfish)
Under the 'weatherfish' (under the weather)
Gill-ty of loving these jokes (guilty)
Navigating these waters (yk... like fish)
You're a 'reel' catch! (Real + catch... like catching fish)
I'm not 'koi' about how I feel (coy)
Fin-ship = friendship
'Sole' survivor
You're one in a krill-ion/gill-ion (million)
So-fish-ticated (Sophisticated)
Stay octo-mistic! (Optimistic)
Shrimply/shrimple = simply/simple
Time to shell-abrate! (Celebrate)
Crab-ulous = fabulous
Reeling with laughter
Anemones = enemies (Ex. Keep your friends close, and your 'anemones' closer)
Buoys and gills (boys and girls)
Cod = could (Ex. Cod I borrow you for a few?)
Fish-cious = Vicious
A-trout-cious (Atrocious)
Time or 'plaice' (place)
Cod-ered = cornered (Ex. Now I got you cod-ered)
Krill pill = chill pill
You're the sole reason I'm smiling
Shore = sure
You're a starfish (you're a star)
My legs were crushed-aceans (twisted finn core)

Greetings for finn (for when I roleplay as him):

Ahoy!
What's 'kraken'? (Cracking)
Funny sea-ing you here!
Happy to 'dive' into a conversation!
Fin-ally, we meet again!

Jokes:

Who is a fish's favorite artist?
Jackson 'Pollock'!

Why did the jellyfish go to a protest?
As a 'paci-fish', she opposed Portuguese 'man-of-war'.

Which fish is a spokesperson on public matters of fish health?
The sturgeon general

What happened to the fish who met a scammer?
He fell for the con hook, line, and sinker.

What did the herring say when asked if he knew of a good seafood restaurant?
"I sard-inenly do!" (I certainly do)

What did the whale say when he ran out of food?
"I'm 'kelpless' and starving!

What did the sunfish say when asked about her health?
"I'm feeling a little carppie" (crappie)

What did the fish say when the fisherman asked her for directions?
"'Walleye' 'reely' wish I could 'kelp'..." (well I really wish I could help)

Why did one fish slap the other?
To 'snapper' out of it. (To snap her out of it)

What does the salmon say at closing time?
"Time to 'lox' up." (Time to lock up)

What country can every fish trace their roots back to?
Finland!

What's a clown fish's biggest fear?
That he's not 'reely' all that 'finny'.