Incorrect quotes (songs of war)

Voltar-ar-ar-ar-ar-is!

Cheese

Lucidious: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it's cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

Senn: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

Lucidious: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

Ingressus: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

You can be both

Tygren: Zinaida likes to say 'you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,' but I happen to believe you can be both.

My grandma lives there

Ingressus: Hey, Tygren you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform.

Tygren: Have you ever been to a mortuary?

Ingressus: Yea, my grandma lives there.

Senn: That is the worst response to that question.

Help!

Lucidious: I know we're not exactly friends, but-

Ingressus: What do you want?

Lucidious: I've been stuck with Senn for 2 weeks and they've been drinking all the soy sauce.

Lucidious: Help.

Fortune cookie

Zinaida: There are some things beyond our understanding. We must accept them and learn from them. Because these moments of crisis are also potential moments of faith. A time, when we either come together or fall apart. Nature always has a way of balancing itself. The only question is, what part will we play?

Ingressus: Did you just make that up?

Zinaida: No. I read it in a fortune cookie once.

Ingressus:

Zinaida: A really long fortune cookie.

Lie to impress

Lucidious: I just saw Tygren for the first time in years.

Zinaida: No way! And...?

Lucidious: I told them I'm an Olympic gymnast.

Zinaida: Why?

Lucidious: Well, you know when you get nervous socially, you end up lying to impress?

Zinaida: No.

Lucidious: Exactly, we've all done it.

Magic trick

Senn, upon learning how Ingressus did a magic trick: So you're not magic?

Ingressus: Well, not really.

Senn: You're just a liar.

Fail spectacularly

Tygren: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."

The box of love

Senn: today we are going to put the things we love in this box.

Ingressus: *dumps Achillean in the box* 

Pineapples

Lucidious: Pineapples are—

Zinaida: —IN MY HEAD!