Pretty Girl - Steven Conklin

12

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. This wasn't about me. It was about him. "Jere," I began, my voice soft but firm. He looked at me, his eyes full of hurt and frustration. "How can you do this? How can you just keep going like nothing's wrong? I know she's not your biological mom, but she raised you! How are you ok?!"

I took a step closer and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Because you need me to be, Jere. You need me to be strong right now. I'll fall apart later. But not now. Not when you need me."

He looked at me, his expression softening, but I could see the battle going on inside him. The struggle to accept what was happening to our mom.

We stood there for a while, not saying much, just being there for each other. Finally, I broke the silence. "Let's go back inside. You don't have to do this alone, okay?"

He nodded, and we walked back into the ballroom. I could tell Jere was trying to put on a brave face, but I knew how much it hurt. We were all hurting, in our own ways.

Inside, I noticed Conrad by the bar, looking just as lost as Jere. He didn't seem to be engaged in the festivities, and when our eyes met, it was clear that the weight of everything was hitting him, too.

I made my way over to him, my steps purposeful. "So much for telling each other everything, huh?" I said quietly.

Conrad didn't look at me right away. He just kept his gaze focused on his drink. "I didn't want to worry you guys," he finally said, his voice low. "I didn't want to make it worse."

"But you should have told us," I shot back, feeling a surge of anger, of hurt. "Mom should've told us sooner."

Conrad sighed, finally meeting my eyes. "I didn't know how. And it wasn't my place. I didn't want to ruin tonight."

Just then, I saw Jere rejoin Belly, who was sitting with some friends. The night was slowly winding down, but there was still an overwhelming tension hanging in the air. I couldn't shake the feeling that everything had already changed. The carefree summer we'd had, the one where we could pretend everything was normal, was over.

The ball was officially coming to an end, and I knew we had to face what was waiting for us back at the house. The truth couldn't stay hidden forever.

The house felt heavy with tension as we all gathered around in the living room. It wasn't like before, when the room was filled with laughter and light-hearted conversations. Now, there was only an aching silence, and I could feel the weight of it pressing down on us. The laughter of the ball seemed like a distant memory, replaced by the uncertainty hanging in the air.

I could tell everyone knew something was off, but no one said anything. I caught Conrad's eye across the room, and I knew he could feel it too. Something was wrong.

Finally, Mom broke the silence. She was standing in front of us, her back to the fireplace, her hands gripping the armrests of the chair like she was trying to steady herself.

The light from the fire flickered, casting shadows across her face. She took a breath before speaking.

"Kids," she said, her voice sounding uncharacteristically soft. "I need to tell you something."

My heart started to race, and I immediately felt my palms get sweaty. The air in the room seemed to thicken. I glanced over at Jere, whose face was unreadable, though I could see the way his muscles tensed as he waited for what she was about to say.

"I... I've been trying to keep it from you," mom continued, her voice trembling, but firm, "But I don't think I can anymore."

There was a long pause before she spoke again. "I've been sick. I have cancer."

The words hit me like a freight train. I felt like the ground had been pulled out from beneath me, my body going cold. I blinked, trying to process what she was saying, I mean I knew. But hearing the words coming from her mouth slapped me across the face. My thoughts spun. My first instinct was to look at Jere, but when I saw his face, it mirrored the exact shock I was feeling.

"How long?" Jeremaih's voice was hoarse. He'd been quiet up until now, but his eyes were now focused on our mother, pleading, asking for answers.

"About a year now," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want to burden you all."

It felt like the room had stopped moving, like time had come to a screeching halt. I could barely take in her words. I glanced between Conrad and Jere, both of them struggling to come to terms with this. I tried to keep it together. I needed to stay strong for them, even if I was falling apart on the inside.

I forced myself to meet my mom's eyes, trying to find the strength to speak. "Mom... Why didn't you tell us sooner?" I whispered. The question had been lingering, and now I needed to hear the answer.

"I didn't want to worry you," she said softly. "I wanted to give you as much time as possible... time where you could be kids, where you could still live without worrying about me."

I felt the weight of those words hit me. The realization that she'd been carrying this burden alone, trying to protect us from the truth. She didn't want us to see her like this, to see her frail and fragile. But now the truth was out, and it felt like the entire world had shifted.

"I'm so sorry," Susannah continued, her voice breaking. "I know this isn't easy, and I've been trying to pretend everything was okay, but it's not."

The room was silent. No one knew what to say, how to respond to something so huge, so final. I could see the tears welling up in Jere's eyes, and I could feel my own threatening to spill over. But I wouldn't let them fall. Not yet. I wouldn't let myself cry. Not when they needed me to stay strong.

I couldn't stay there anymore. The weight of the moment was suffocating, and I needed air. I needed space to breathe, to think. My hands were trembling as I stood up, excusing myself as I quietly slipped out the door.

I stepped outside into the cool night air. The chill hit my skin, making me shiver, but I welcomed it. The night was quiet, save for the soft rustling of leaves and the distant sounds of crickets. It felt like the only place where I could gather my thoughts, where I could breathe without the heaviness of the room pressing down on me.

I walked to the edge of the porch, leaning against the railing, staring out into the night. It was so quiet, so peaceful—so unlike what was happening inside. I tried to wrap my mind around everything Susannah had said, but it felt impossible. How was I supposed to accept this? How were we all supposed to accept it?

The silence outside was comforting, but it didn't last long. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out, almost automatically.

"Hello?" I answered, trying to steady my voice, even though I was still shaken.

"This is Cousins General Hospital," the voice on the other end said. "We're calling about Jackson Smith. You're listed as one of his emergency contacts."

My heart skipped a beat. "What happened to him?" I asked, my voice rising with panic.

The voice on the other end was calm, but the words struck me like a slap in the face. "He's been in a motorcycle accident. We need you to come down here as soon as possible." 

I froze, the phone feeling heavy in my hand. My head was spinning. JJ. My JJ. He was hurt.

"Is he okay?" I managed to choke out, trying to keep my composure.

"He has minor injuries, we need you to come down immediately. He's going into surgery now." the nurse said, her voice full of remorse, but the weight of the words still pressing on my chest.

"Okay. I'll be there soon," I said, my voice barely a whisper. I hung up, my hands shaking as I tried to process what I'd just heard.

I didn't know how long I stood there, staring into the night, the cool breeze no longer providing any comfort. All I could think about was JJ. He was in trouble, and I wasn't there. I had to go. I had to make sure he was okay.