Crimson Pines

Chapter 2

On my way, I observe my neighbourhood. Soaked, damp streets littered with upswept leaves. The occasional splatter of blood near the barbed wire and concrete. Despite this, the occasional infected breaks in. I keep walking and stop in front of Lawrence's house. I don't know why I ever went near him, let alone befriend him, since he's a slob and I'm a neat freak. A bit farther down the block was Apricot's house, another friend. Lawrence has been the academic type like me, while Apricot is as dense as a rock. She just wants to help out by becoming a security guard. I poke fun at her for this, but I admire her bravery. Taking up a job like that needs courage and perseverance. I checked my watch; 6:30. I had time to spare.

"Hey, Lawrence! Lawrence?" I pounded on his door. He lived with his grandfather, who was out of the house recently, so I didn't mind making such noise. I keep pounding on the door til Lawrence, looking dishevelled as ever, lets me in.

He stood there, his dark brown curls clean yet unbrushed, and his square glasses that didn't help soften his firm face.
"Yikes, stop yelling and just come in next time!" he said, irritated. I laugh and step in, squinting at how dark everything was. It was surprisingly clean there, and I plopped myself down on the couch like it was my home. It was my second home, since we stuck to each other like glue during our preteen days. I've noticed a rift growing between us and it's eating me from the inside, but I ignore it and try to act like everything's fine. I need to work on that.

"So, how's everything going?" I ask him. I hear only grunts of frustration as he tinkers in his kitchen, struggling to pull together a decent meal.
"It's okay, I guess." I can tell he's pushing things aside.
"Look, dude, you can tell me anything." He doesn't respond back.
"We're friends.... Say, how about we have fun at the upcoming Autumn Festival at the town square this month? And maybe...talk to actual people?"
I struggle to get a response out of him.
"And you know, maybe you can have fun and be happy instead of rotting in your own filth!" I snap and stand up. I don't like how he rots and crumbles every time he faces a hardship, then doesn't tell anyone. I feel unreasonably angry. I could turn into a bird and rip his fingers off.

"Lawrence, you need to be kind to yourself. Stop rotting here and get some fresh air and... actually talk to me!" I felt like such a nag.

This makes him stop what he was doing and turn to me.
"I'm sorry. I've.... I've been so stressed this month. It's because......"
He paused to think. "It's because I've been offered a position at the Warehouse." He practically giggled with joy. All his gloominess evaporated. "A scientist! I'm becoming a scientist at the Warehouse, Tara!"
I stagger back and he tackles me. That's great! I feel great for him.... But it feels unfair. I wanted to have giddy, irresponsible fun with him before going into the adult world but now he's leaving. Not leaving, but he'll be working there for hours and... he's growing as a person too.  I feel proud for him, but I feel stuck here too. Especially now that Apricot is training 24/7 for her future duties.

I give him a firm, tight hug and congratulate him. But my greed fades and I realize that he needs to spread his wings too, and his work will help a lot of people. I'm not his mother. And I'd be a doctor too, in a few months. But I don't want to be alone. Like I was that summer when I was 8.