Mera kuch saman...

Chapter 14

/* Next update only after this one have 45+ votes

This is the second last chapter. Only one update pending
*/

Har Mulaqat ek Kahani Hai
Jo Saath ek Doosre ko sunani hai,
Aage Kismat ki ManMani Hai
Kisi ko Milti Zindagi Unke Saath
To Kisi ki Hoti Qurbani
(- unknown)

"Hello sir", Naina said, while knocking the door of his cabin.

"Please come in, captain singh", he replied without looking up.

"I have requested for my posting. Our assignment is over, sir, and I think it's time to move on", Naina said.

"I got to know about your transfer request", Rajveer replied, looking at her solemnly.

"Okay, I want to thank you, sir, for all your guidance and support. I would not have reached till here if it wasn't for you", Naina said with a little moisture in her eyes.

"It's all your hard work, captain Singh", he responded sincerely.

"I shall take your leave, thanks again, sir", with this, Naina left the cabin. Her eyes now, teared up completely.

Rajveer keeps looking at the door thinking what he should have done differently or what is happening is right.
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"Dude...why are you rushing on this? You could have stayed here for longer. He would have relented. Don't you see changed in him", Yudi asked Naina when she broke this news to both him and Shalini.

She took a deep sigh and looked at him, "I don't want to force him Yudi".

"So you are giving up on him?", he asked.

She shakes her head indicating no, "I am giving up on the rush to make him understand. I am giving up the need to have him in my life when he clearly is not ready".

"What are you saying Yar. This is stupid. Tell her Shalu", he said looking at Shalini for support.

Shalini who was silent all this while studying Naina asked finally, "what's do you want to do Naina?".

Naina is now looking as if she can cry any moment.
"I am trying to set him free Mam", she said in a chocking voice.

"May be we are wrong mam to rush his healing process. He is healing. May be slow or very slow according to us but he is. I am pushing him to choose something which his heart clearly isn't aligned to. He never rushed me for anything. Not even to forgive him. He took all my hatred quietly till the time I wasn't healed. I cannot do this to him. I love him. I know now", she said looking solely at Shalini now.

"Then are you going to let him go?", Shalini asked holding her hand for support.

"No mam. But i love him. That's my problem. In facts it isn't my problem. It's the most beautiful thing in my life currently. But I also know that my love is not dependent of his presence in my life. If he is happy...with anyone...I will be happy. I have decided to move on from this necessity of having him in my life. He is there in my heart. He is here in this world, safe and sound. I think that's enough for me", she said looking at both of them with a quiet resolution in her eyes.

Yudi who is emotional now as well pressed her shoulder and she smiled at him.

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"She left. Why you didn't come to see her off?", Shalini asked Rajveer.

"I was there. I saw her off", he replied thoughtfully.

"Fir Aap aye kyu nahin milne usse?", she asked.

"Mai mil chuka tha usse", he replied looking away.

"Aap jante hai mai Kya Bolna chahti hun Major", she said looking sharply at him.

"Aur aap ye bhi janti hai ki kyu nahin gya mai usse milne Dr. Shalini. I am senior to her. It won't look good being over emotional on her departure. It's not the protocol ", he replied finally looking at her.

"And since when you start caring about protocols?", she asked.

"Since the time she have suffered because of me", he mumbled.

"She never cared for it Major and you know it", she said making him turn towards her.

"But I did. It's not just her who suffered Shalini. I did too. I have seen the world mocking my emotions and pious feelings. Yes....i love her. But I never intended to do anything about it. I never did anything actually. I was just protecting her and we both pid a very heavy price for it. I know aapko lagta hai ki mere dimag me aaj bhi kuch gadbad hai. Par I am fine. It's a deliberate thing. Yes I am scared for her. I am scared for me too. I don't have that kind of courage anymore", he said a lot after so many days.

"Aapko aapke sare jawab mil gaye honge aaj. Now please excuse me", he said and left his own cabin.

He had enough now . He asked an orderly to lock his cabin and give him the keys back, meanwhile he unlocked his quarters.

As the door opens he saw a letter there.

He recognised her handwriting.

Dear Rajveer Sir,

Kahna to ye sab mai aapse mil ke chahti thi Lekin Mai janti thi ki ye sab Humari professional boundaries ke bahar hota.

Islie ye khat likh rahi hun.

Ab Tak mai apni posting ke lie ja chuki hongi aur aapki directed reportee nahin rahin hun. Army protocols se ab hun kuch galat nahin kar rahe hai to contact each other personally.

Islie ab mai aapko apne dil ki bat kah sakti hun.

First of all I know mujhe aapki diary aise nahin leni chahiye thi lekin I am not sorry about it. I know I should be but I am not. Koi bhi guilt nahin hai Mujhe is bat ka. Aapko lagta ho ya nahin lekin aapki zindagi pe maine apne kuch haq mane hai. Aapki zindagi ke bare me kuch janna shayad haq  hai mera.

Second, Sir now that I know that you love me. I want to tell you, that I love you too. Always loved you actually. Consciously or unconsciously, you were the one dominating my thoughts.

Third, I don't hold you accountable for my feelings Sir. Aapki help karna chahti thi mai sir. I wanted to make you the way you were when I met you first. But I forgot that time has changed and so do you. And I respect you feelings. I cannot force you to be something you clearly have moved on from.

Fourth is just a request. Please seek happiness for your life or I can say choose happiness for you life. You are as deserving as anyone in this world for happiness and I wish you give life one chance to prove it so.

Last is that I am freeing you from any obligation towards me of any kind. For so many years, we have tried running from each other. This time, let's truly try to move ahead in this life.

I really really be so happy that whenever I see you again, you have chosen happiness for yourself. Seeing you content in life brings me more joy than anything else.

Thanks to you I understands the true meaning of love. It's not to get the person but to love the person without any expectation.

Thanks for everything Sir.

Looking forward to see you again and again,

Yours Naina.

He folds the letter to put it gently on table. Tears are falling from his eyes over this unexpected gesture of hers.

He recalls when she was leaving, her eyes are on him. Her beautiful eyes, serene and smiling but constantly coming back to see him again and again. As if she is drinking his sight until the next time.......