Masked Affections

Chapter Seven: The Silent Decision

The days after that night were some of the longest Perry had ever experienced. School felt like a blur, each class merging into the next, but his mind was always somewhere else. His thoughts were consumed by the same question: *What do I want?*

The truth was, Perry had no idea. He had spent years of his life as the quiet observer, the one who didn’t need to make waves or get caught up in the complexities of emotions. But now, standing on the precipice of something bigger, something deeper, he found himself drowning in the very thing he had always avoided—feelings.

The confession had shaken him. Juanita’s words rang in his ears: *I’ve liked you for a while now, Perry.* But even more than that, there was Selomi, who had always been the steady one, the one who understood him in ways that no one else could. She hadn’t said much that night, but Perry could tell she was hurt. And that hurt him more than he cared to admit.

It was Wednesday morning when the phone call came. Perry had just finished his breakfast and was about to leave for school when his phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. He reached over, expecting another message from Edwin about a new gaming strategy or something else trivial. But instead, it was a text from Juanita.

*“Perry, can we talk? It’s really important. Please. I need to know where we stand.”*

Perry stared at the message for a long time, his thumb hovering over the screen. He didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t even know if he was ready to face Juanita again—not after everything that had happened.

He thought of Selomi, of how distant she had seemed since that night. Every time he saw her in school, she greeted him with a polite smile, but the warmth they used to share was gone, replaced by an unspoken tension.

Perry took a deep breath and texted Juanita back: *“Okay, where?”*

She replied almost immediately. *“My place after school. We can talk then.”*

The rest of the school day passed in a blur. Perry sat in his classes, half-listening to the teachers, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the conversation that was waiting for him later. He felt like he was being pulled in two directions, each tugging at him in opposite ways. Juanita, with her vibrant energy and bold confession, and Selomi, with her quiet strength and the connection they shared over the past few months. Perry had always felt like an outsider in most situations, but with them, he had begun to feel like he belonged. Now, though, it was as if everything he had known was slipping through his fingers.

By the time the final bell rang, Perry was already on edge. He didn’t want to face Juanita, and he definitely didn’t want to see Selomi afterward, knowing how conflicted he felt. But there was no escaping it.

Juanita’s house was only a short walk from the school, and by the time Perry arrived, his nerves were frayed. He rang the doorbell, his heart pounding in his chest. The door opened almost immediately, and Juanita stood there, her face serious, but her eyes softened when she saw him.

“Hey, Perry,” she said quietly, stepping aside to let him in.

“Hi,” Perry replied, his voice low. He stepped into the entryway, feeling the weight of the moment settle in. This wasn’t just a casual conversation. This was everything.

Juanita led him to the living room, where she motioned for him to sit down. There was a quiet tension in the air, and Perry could feel it. Juanita sat across from him, her legs crossed, her eyes studying him with an intensity that made him uneasy.

“I’m glad you came,” she said softly. “I know this is hard for you. I can tell you’re struggling with everything.”

Perry shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t really know what to say, Juanita.”

Juanita nodded, her lips pressing into a thin line. “I get that. I do. This isn’t easy. But I need to know, Perry. I need to know where you stand.”

Perry’s heart raced as he searched for the right words. The truth was, he didn’t know where he stood. How could he? His feelings for both her and Selomi were real, but so tangled up in confusion that it was impossible to untangle them.

“I’m not sure,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what I want. I don’t know how to choose.”

Juanita’s eyes softened, and she let out a slow breath. “I understand. But I need to know. Do you feel the same way about me, Perry? Or are we just friends?”

Perry’s heart sank. The question was simple, yet it felt like it was loaded with expectation. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He wanted to say something—anything—but the truth was, he didn’t know if he felt the same way about her. Not in the way she was asking, at least.

“I don’t know, Juanita,” he said again, his voice cracking slightly. “I care about you, but…”

“But what?” she pressed, her voice growing more insistent.

Perry hesitated, unsure of how to continue. He knew what he was about to say would hurt her, but he couldn’t lie to her. “But I care about Selomi too. I… I can’t choose between you both.”

Juanita was silent for a long time, her expression unreadable. Then, slowly, she nodded. “I figured as much.”

The words hung in the air between them, heavy and final.

“I didn’t want to put you in this position, Perry,” Juanita said softly. “I didn’t want to make things complicated. But I couldn’t keep pretending like I didn’t feel something for you.”

Perry felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He had never wanted to hurt her. He never wanted any of this to happen. But here he was, standing at the crossroads, caught in the middle of something he had never wanted and yet couldn’t avoid.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely audible. “I didn’t mean for things to get this way.”

Juanita gave him a small, bittersweet smile. “It’s okay. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. But I needed to know where I stood. Now I do.”

There was a long silence before Juanita stood up. “I think it’s best if you go now, Perry,” she said, her voice softer than before. “We’ve said what we needed to say.”

Perry nodded silently, standing up and walking toward the door. He felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest, but it wasn’t a good feeling. It was the weight of knowing that things had changed. And he wasn’t sure if they could go back.

He stepped out of the house and into the cool evening air, the streetlights casting long shadows on the pavement. Perry walked home in silence, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. He hadn’t made any decisions, and yet it felt like everything had already been decided for him.

At home, Perry collapsed onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He felt exhausted—not from physical strain, but from the emotional toll of the past few days. He had to make a choice. But right now, it seemed impossible.

And as the night deepened, Perry realized something he hadn’t wanted to face: the silence in his heart was louder than any words could ever be. And the decision he had been avoiding was no longer something he could ignore.