Masked Affections

Chapter Eight: The Weight of Silence

The following days felt like a blur of monotony for Perry. School had become a suffocating routine—his classes, the hallways, even the cafeteria, all felt distant, as if he were watching his life from the outside. Every time he passed Juanita or Selomi in the halls, it felt as though the distance between them had grown exponentially. Their faces were polite, but there was a coldness to their smiles that didn’t exist before. Perry had never been good at navigating emotional terrain, and now it felt like everything was slipping out of his control.

It had been two days since his conversation with Juanita, and Perry couldn’t stop replaying her words in his mind. *“I need to know where I stand.”* The question had haunted him, replaying in his head over and over, mixing with Selomi’s quiet demeanor, the way she hadn’t said much when Juanita confessed her feelings.

Perry had tried to talk to Selomi since that night, but she had been distant. She greeted him, sure, but the warmth that once characterized their interactions had disappeared. Her smiles felt forced, her eyes too careful, and Perry felt the painful silence between them every time they spoke.

His guilt gnawed at him. He hadn’t intended for things to turn out this way, but the truth was, his indecision had caused a rift. And now he was stuck, unsure of how to fix things.

That afternoon, he found himself sitting in the quiet corner of the school library, surrounded by textbooks that he didn’t feel like reading. The words on the pages blurred together, his mind elsewhere, lost in the sea of uncertainty.

“Perry?” a voice interrupted his thoughts.

Perry looked up, startled to see Edwin standing in front of him. His friend had been quiet lately, ever since he found out about the tension between Perry, Juanita, and Selomi. Edwin, with his laid-back attitude and nonchalant demeanor, had always been the one who seemed unaffected by drama, but even he had started to notice the shift in Perry’s life.

“Hey, Edwin,” Perry greeted, offering a half-smile. He didn’t feel like talking, but he knew his friend wouldn’t leave until they said something.

Edwin sat down across from him, slouching in his usual relaxed way. “You’re not studying, huh?”

“Not really,” Perry muttered, closing the book in front of him. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “Just… thinking.”

Edwin raised an eyebrow, sensing the weight behind the words. “About what?”

Perry hesitated, unsure whether to open up. Edwin was a good friend, but the situation he was facing felt too complicated to explain in a few words. Still, he felt like he needed to get it off his chest.

“About Juanita and Selomi,” Perry said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

Edwin didn’t say anything at first. He just looked at Perry, his face unreadable. The silence stretched between them until finally, Edwin broke it with a low chuckle.

“You’re in deep, huh?” Edwin said, his tone light, though there was a hint of understanding in his voice.

“I don’t know what to do, Edwin,” Perry admitted, his shoulders slumping. “Juanita told me how she feels, and… I don’t know how to feel about it. And then there’s Selomi. I can’t even talk to her without feeling like I’m messing everything up.”

Edwin leaned back in his chair, tapping his fingers on the edge of the table as he thought for a moment. “Man, that’s rough. But honestly? You’re the one who’s making it harder than it needs to be.”

Perry frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

Edwin shrugged, his easygoing demeanor masking a more thoughtful undertone. “I mean, you’re overthinking it. Both of them like you, right? They’re both waiting for you to decide. The real question is: who do you want?”

Perry winced, his mind immediately returning to the painful image of Selomi’s face after Juanita’s confession. He couldn’t shake the look of disappointment in her eyes, like she knew something he didn’t.

“I don’t know if I *want* anyone, Edwin,” Perry said quietly. “I don’t want to hurt either of them.”

Edwin sighed, leaning forward. “You can’t avoid hurting someone, man. That’s just how life is. But it’s better to make a choice than to let them both sit around waiting for something that’s not gonna happen.”

Perry ran a hand over his face, feeling the weight of Edwin’s words settle into him. He knew his friend was right—he couldn’t keep dragging things out. But every time he thought he was close to figuring it out, his heart tugged in different directions, each girl representing something important to him. Juanita was bold and confident, someone who had never hesitated to go after what she wanted. Selomi was quieter, more reserved, but there was an undeniable depth to her that Perry had always been drawn to. He didn’t want to lose either of them, but he couldn’t keep going like this.

“I don’t know, man,” Perry muttered, his head spinning. “It’s not that simple.”

“Sure it is,” Edwin said, his tone surprisingly firm. “You just have to decide if you’re going to face your feelings or keep running from them.”

Perry looked at his friend, surprised by his sudden seriousness. Edwin was always the one who joked around, who never seemed too invested in anything. But in that moment, it was clear that even he understood the gravity of the situation.

“Thanks, man,” Perry said quietly, his voice heavy. He wasn’t sure if he’d taken any advice away from the conversation, but hearing it out loud made him realize something he hadn’t fully accepted before—he was avoiding the truth. The longer he put off making a decision, the more painful it would be for everyone involved.

Edwin stood up, giving Perry a brief clap on the back. “Don’t mention it. Just figure it out, okay? Don’t let it fester.”

Perry nodded, but as his friend left, the weight of the decision hung even heavier over him. He knew that Edwin’s words had struck a chord. But now, more than ever, Perry felt like he was teetering on the edge of something irreversible. If he chose one girl over the other, things would change. And he wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t ready to lose either of them.

After the conversation, Perry walked the halls of school in a daze. He didn’t see the usual faces of his classmates or hear the familiar chatter of students around him. He was lost in his own head, trapped in a cycle of indecision and guilt. The day felt like it was dragging on, every minute another reminder that he had to make a choice.

At lunch, he sat alone at his usual spot, picking at his food without appetite. He noticed Juanita and Selomi at different tables, surrounded by their friends, but neither one made any effort to approach him. The distance between them had grown too wide.

The bell rang for the next class, and Perry stood up, grabbing his bag. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face either of them, but he knew that eventually, he would have to. There was no running from this.

As he walked to his next class, Perry made a silent vow to himself. He wouldn’t avoid the decision any longer. He couldn’t. The longer he waited, the more he hurt everyone involved.

He had to face his feelings—before it was too late.