Sad Poetry

Dear Anxiety

They ask me what my fears are

I lie

I could never tell them about you

I can never tell anyone the truth

I'm chained to you

As a prisoner you are my captor

You punish and torture me

You are the voice inside my head that tells me to do bad things, to do them to myself

Things I cannot talk about for the fear that I might break

You tell me that we are alike but I know I will never someone way you hurt me

I would never tell a girl she's unlovable, ugly, worthless, a waste of space

I would never tell a girl to hurt herself to the point that the pain just goes away

Her nerves are dead, you say

Just like she should be

Why do I give into you when you do not let me sleep at night

When you give me the worst nightmares

When you send me into a panic and all I want to do is die

But I'm not afraid of them not anymore

I'm afraid of the dark alleys in my mind

Of the fucked up world we live in

Scream

I scream because it's all in my head

I scream because none of it is real

I scream cause I feel hands on my throat, turning my voice to nothing

Erasing me from existence

Shatter

Shatter

Shatter

Stop

I've had more than enough

I'm not you I am me

I never was you

I am a person you are a feeling

I will rise above the surface

because it's over

I am over you

over my thoughts and reality

I will survive

I will love me

I will never let go

2020