The Shadow Hashira - Tengen X Reader X Sanemi

65

I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, my mind spinning in circles that I couldn't seem to break free from. Sanemi's words kept replaying in my head, the question he'd asked, the way he'd looked at me with that unexpected softness, the hope I'd glimpsed in his eyes.

It was all so much. Too much.

"Ugh!" I groaned, kicking my blankets like an annoyed child, frustration bubbling up inside me. Why did everything have to feel so complicated again?!?! Why couldn't I just... know what I wanted?

I tossed and turned, the minutes ticking by, until finally, the restless energy had me on my feet. Without thinking, I stalked through the quiet hallways of the mansion, my footsteps echoing softly in the silence. I didn't know where I was going, but I just needed to move, to get away from my thoughts, to find some kind of clarity.

And before I knew it, I found myself standing outside Tengen's room.

My heart skipped a beat as I stared at the closed door, the sudden realization of where I'd ended up sinking in. I swallowed, feeling the warmth of confusion and something else stirring inside me. Why had I come here? Did I want to see him? Did I want him to distract me from the mess in my head, from the impossible choices I couldn't seem to make?

I squeezed my fists, a sigh slipping out as I took a small step back, ready to retreat. But just as I turned to leave, the door slid open.

He stood there, his hair loose around his shoulders, his night robe hanging open enough to reveal his chest, his toned abs catching the faint glow of moonlight. My breath caught in my throat. He looked relaxed, almost disheveled, but somehow effortlessly gorgeous, and I found myself rooted in place, my mind blank, my heart racing.

Screw him and his awfully good looks, I mentally cursed myself for looking like shit right now.

He didn't say anything, just looked at me with that quiet, knowing gaze, a small smile tugging at his lips, as if he'd expected me somehow, as if he knew exactly why I was here—even though I didn't.

The silence stretched between us, thick with something unspoken, something I couldn't put into words. My thoughts scattered, leaving only the steady sound of our breaths mingling in the stillness of the night.

And before I even realized what I was doing, I took a step forward, closing the distance between us, my heart pounding as I reached up, my hands finding their way to the back of his neck. My fingers threaded through his hair, and I felt him stiffen, his surprise evident.

But then, I closed the gap, pressing my lips softly to his.

For a heartbeat, I felt him hesitate, as if taken off guard. But then his arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer, his lips responding with a warmth and a gentleness that made my pulse quicken, melting away the confusion, the doubts, everything that had been weighing on me. Right now, all I could feel was him, the steady strength of his arms, the warmth of his touch, the way he made me feel safe and grounded, even when my world felt like it was spinning.

In that moment, I wasn't confused. I knew exactly what I wanted.

Tengen lifted me up effortlessly, caressing my lower back as he retreats us back into his room. His touch flaming each bit of my bare skin. With one arm wrapped around me he used his free hand to hold behind my head, steadying me. Matching my pace.

This kiss felt better than any of the other ones we've had. It felt true, it felt certain. 

I couldn't get enough of his taste, his tongue found its way into mouth and I couldn't help but moan at this sensation. He made sure to gently hold me whilst possessing a roughness that I enjoyed. My hands was interlocked behind his neck, making sure that I remained in this position.

'Mhmm...'  I mumbled in between kisses.

"Eager are we?" Tengen finally said pulling out. He had his signature smirk on him. His usual stupid smirk that I can't help but fall for each and every time I see it.

I wanted him. I wanted all of him.

"Tengen..." barely a whisper. My brain and my mouth seemed to not be working apparently.

"I want you." His eyes widened, a hint of uncertainty still lingered. I can sense it, after all we've been through and especially sanemi. He has every right to doubt me.

I placed my hand on the side of his face, his warmth melting into my cold hands. God, he was so...so good to me. Why would I ever ? Why would I ever doubt him? Tch, y/n you are some idiot.

His red eyes held my e/c ones.

"I want you....only you Tengen." I finally said. There I said it. It was always him. From the beginning, till now.

His grip began to loosen and I could feel like my body meet the ground once more. Our eyes still locked onto each other. The only sound was of our breath and probably my heart because that shit is beating like crazy.

Get a grip Y/N...you got this. Just listen to him.

Nerves started to take over my body and my hand that was still placed on his cheek began to slip as well. Does he not want me? Is he already bored of me? Tch...maybe I was too late.

I finally broke our eye contact and looked away at the ground. I couldn't do it, I couldn't look at him if he was gonna reject me.

Please make it quick Tengen. My heart can't bear it.

"Unless you don't want me...that is okay too Tengen. I'd understand." I added, hoping to help ease the pain that my heart is feeling.

As I pulled my hand away, feeling the sting of rejection, Tengen's fingers wrapped around mine, stopping me. He lifted my hand back to his cheek, his gaze intense, his voice low and sure.

"I will always want you," he murmured, his thumb brushing softly over my knuckles. "It's only ever been you."

A quiet laugh slipped out, and I felt my chest warm as he pulled me close again. The last of my doubts faded as our lips met, his touch grounding me, filling me with a certainty that, right here, with him, I was exactly where I belonged.