Lashton One Shots

All Of Me

Ashton is tired. Of having his heart broken, of the innocent smiles that show off dimples that Ashton thinks about all day, of whispered 'I love you's' that never feel real later. But, he will not complain. His fear of loosing Luke much greater then himself.
Sometimes, Ashton wish's Luke would just leave him, for good, make the decision for him. Ashton told Luke that once. Luke had gotten this pitiful look on his face, and asked, 'You don't love me anymore?' before breaking down into tears. Luke had stayed at Calum's that night. Guilt and sadness consumed Ashton, until the next morning, when Luke came back. Covered in hickeys that weren't Ashtons, asking if Ashton 'meant' what he said. Ashton didn't. Because, even if Luke didn't care about or love Ashton the way he did for Luke, Ashton could not shake the constant need for Luke. The craving of his touch and love, even if its fake.

Eventually, emotional pain became physical pain, with every cut and every burn, Luke would love him a little more. He would notice all of Ashton's wounds and kiss him, touch him, whisper things like, 'why are you doing this, Ashton, I love you.' or 'please stop this, I love you okay.' With every cut and every burn, Luke would stay with him longer and show up with love bites that Ashton didn't give him less.

When Ashton cried, he would try to do it alone, Luke didn't need to see him that way. But sometimes, after spending almost a week of Luke coming home later and later, fresh hickeys on his neck, wearing clothes that where not his, Ashton would break down. And Luke would look at him, regret on his perfect face, not saying a word, before he continued on this what ever he was doing. Ashton, would apologize later, for Luke having to deal with that.

Ashton is consumed. When he's awake, all he can think about is Luke. When he's asleep, all he see's and hears is Luke. And Ashton thinks it's beautiful, at least in his dreams Luke will touch him without sex being involved.

With every cut and burn, Ashton thinks of Luke, and how he used to hold him, and whisper things like, 'please dont do this, I love you' or 'why are you doing this, I love you.'
Now, with every cut and every burn, Luke tells him, 'this has to stop.' or 'theres no reason for this.'

When Ashton crys, Luke doesn't even look at him anymore, assuming he's there at all. But that's okay. Because Luke doesn't need to see him this way.

The bed he used to share with Luke, doesn't smell like Luke anymore. He's not there enough for it to. He's lucky if Luke comes home once a week, but when he does, Ashton makes sure nothing is wrong, he doesn't cry, he covers his cuts and burns because Luke won't even touch him sexually anymore, everything is exactly as Luke left it. Even Ashton.

Ashton crys all the time now. No ones around to see it.
With every cut and every burn, Ashton thinks of Luke, and how he used to be there.
Luke doesn't come back home anymore, and it makes Ashton realize, that he never had Luke, but Luke still has all of him.

Notes:

Yeah, idk what that was, so please tell me what you think?