When I created this book, I had two major goals—to speak my voice without having people judge me and to create texts that could make you relate and maybe even help you somehow. And to everyone who still reads my depressive stuff, thank you so much. You are the one who I'll hold forever in my heart.
Though I need to be honest with you, I'm being a coward. I'm preventing myself from speaking the truth, I'm judging myself for having my voice. But I finally got the guts to do so, I'll talk about the truth.
This message is to every girl and woman out there.
I'm tired, like mentally and physically tired and no matter how much I keep blaming myself and trying to hurt myself, it won't be my fault. Just like it isn't your fault either.
We all have a Chimera in our lives, an elusive thing that only brings us problems. My Chimera is my stepfather, idealized by all, the perfect father to his kids, the perfect businessman.
And I'm tired, of all of these lies everyone believes. I'm tired of not being able to speak the truth, of who he really is. So I'll say the truth, for once women should have a small victory and be able to speak their voices.
I'm tired, really tired of having to put up with his ego. He's a man, he doesn't have to believe in me. I'm just a girl, what do I know from life?
I'm tired of having my mother falling into his spell, in his fake charisma. She believes him, not her daughter.
I'm tired of feeling stupid with myself, feeling self-conscious of my body because he says I'm too skinny.
I'm tired that he doesn't do shit and women have to do all, his purpose is to work while my mother's purpose is to take care of the kids.
Thought you already knew this, didn't you? A man will always be a man, no changes can be made about this. But there's one thing I'm tired of normalizing, that's making me go silent. It's one question: Am I just uncomfortable or a victim?
Neck kisses, touching my waist, talking about my body, saying I'm having bigger boobs, slapping my ass, random touches.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm just playing the victim, I'm tired of being scared of admitting what this is. But I'm more tired of having to normalize it.
And worst, I'm tired of seeing the world around me and realizing every woman has this same problem. Every woman had her chimera in her life, though no woman can speak about it.
I'm tired most of all of having to normalize this. He's a man, our chimera.
This is a safe place, if you need to ramble that's what I'm here for. I love you all <3.
