Until the Seven Hells Freeze Over

Chapter 13- Top of the Wall

A/N:  I took the day off from work because I just couldn't do it, so I wrote another chapter for y'all. Enjoy <3

You woke up in Jon's arms to the sensation of him gently tracing circles on your back. You smiled before you even opened your eyes.

"Good morning," he said, his voice raspy from sleep.

"Mmmm..." You snuggled up tighter to him.

He chuckled softly. "Still sleepy?"

You nodded against his chest, still grinning.

He leaned down and kissed your head. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to wake up with you in my arms. If I could only go back in time and tell my younger self that this day would come..."

He continued to rub your back, and you nearly fell asleep again before he said softly, "You scared me to death last night, Y/N. I've known fear before, but never...never anything like that."

Your heart sank at those words. You knew what he was talking about, of course—the window ledge. You'd managed to block it out; you'd been in a trance last night until he entered the room and snapped you out of it.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, keeping your eyes squeezed shut. "I don't know what came over me. I...I shouldn't have done that."

"No, don't apologize," Jon said earnestly. "I just hate that you felt so terrible that you even considered such a thing."

You craned your neck to look into his deep brown eyes, wondering if you should tell him what had happened earlier that day to bring on such dark feelings within yourself.

"I just felt...so guilty. About everything I've put you through since I got here. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Jon. Literally. You have to protect the realm from the dangers beyond the Wall and lead all the other men who vowed to do the same. And even though I...I knew how much you cared for me, the guilt became too much and I stopped thinking clearly."

"But now you know how much I love you, right darling?" he asked, his eyes searching yours for understanding. "I don't blame you for thinking like that. It was my fault for not confessing how I felt sooner."

"I could've confessed sooner, too," you retorted softly.

He shook his head. "No, no that would've been too risky for you. If I hadn't felt the same way, what would you have done? Where could you have gone? I understand why you kept your feelings closed off. You shouldn't blame yourself for being careful."

You nodded. "I wish I could go back and talk to my younger self too. Tell her what I know now. Maybe, if we'd both been together when we were young...things would be different."

Jon blew out a long breath, absentmindedly running his hand through your hair, comforted by each touch. "They may have been," he said pensively, his gaze far away.

You laid your head back on his chest. "We could've married young and bought a house on some land. Somewhere we could lay on the grass at night and look up at the stars."

Jon smiled wistfully as he pictured it. "I could've been there to help my brother, Robb. And every night I'd get to come home to you."

Your heart clenched, and you fought back the lump that rose in your throat. "In another life," you said, your voice strained.

He pressed another kiss to the top of your head. "Yes, maybe in another life," he whispered. "But we have each other now, Y/N. We may not have a life exactly like that, but we've been given another one. Let's make the best of it, okay?"

You looked up at him and nodded, then he lowered his lips to your own.

When he kissed you, you felt another flutter of heat in your chest, and you remembered how each of his touches felt the night before. But then the sun peeked out from a cloud and streamed through the window, reminding you both that it was time for the day to begin.