Soul's new home

A perished name

I need to quell this overwhelming sense of anxiety that has taken hold of me.

This mantra has transformed into an unyielding melody, echoing through my thoughts like a tempestuous storm, relentless and all-consuming.

The more I try to silence it, the louder it becomes, swirling around my mind in chaotic patterns, leaving me confused and breathless.

What I truly grapple with is the haunting question of Lea's soul—does it still linger somewhere out there?

Are we bound to return to our bodies, destined to navigate this transition once more?

The uncertainty weighs heavily on my heart. If a soul was snuffed out and a body lay in ruins during the initial transition,

what might unfold if we dared to attempt it once more? That's assuming Lea still exists in some form.

Her essence perished alongside Tanny's fractured body—my body.

I'm willing to gamble with this fate if I can become Tanny once again.

It's been three weeks.

Three weeks since Tanny passed. Three weeks since I've become Lea. If Lea is still here she would tell me.

As I reflect on the days leading up to the transition, everything begins to crystallize in my mind.

There was something off about her behavior; a subtle shift that I only now fully comprehend.

She missed an entire week of school, citing illness, yet I would often glance into her empty room, the bed neatly made.

I could sense the unspoken tension between us.

I always pretended to be oblivious, but deep down, I knew—Lea knew I was aware.

It was as if she secretly yearned for me to acknowledge the turmoil swirling within her. 

And then, like a sudden storm, it all came crashing down.

I can recall that haunting moment as if it were etched in time.

"Tanny," she had whispered, her voice trembling with urgency. "I need you. I'm going somewhere far away, and I need someone who can take care of me.

Tanny. I'm dying." Her words had hung heavy in the air, and I remembered my response.

"Tell me what to do dear Leaina." Lea held my hand that day and said something I couldn't quite grasp but it sounded liked she was praying for someone.

I snapped. 

My legs started moving before my mind can think and I'm suddenly running out the cemetery.

Thoughts raced through my head, colliding like turbulent waves: how could I possibly forget?

Lea's bedroom, a sanctuary filled with her laughter and secrets.

Lea's diary, its pages brimming with her untold stories and dreams.

Lea's phone, a gateway to the world she left behind. The truth is hidden within those remnants of her life.

She must have left behind pieces of this mystery.

The familiar outlines of the neighborhood come into view, and I can feel my breath coming in ragged bursts.

My heart races as I resolve to focus on her phone first. It has to hold the most vital information.

I came to a sudden halt as I rummaged through the depths of my jacket pocket, fingers searching anxiously for the familiar shape of the house key.

Once I finally grasped it, I inserted the key into the lock with a mix of urgency.

With a forceful shove, I pushed the door open and strode towards Lea's room.

As I flicked the light switch, the room erupted in a warm glow, casting long shadows that danced along the walls and illuminating a scene that stopped me in my tracks.

There, sprawled on Lea's bed, was Adam, his expression a mix of disbelief and fury.

His disheveled state was striking; the usual vibrancy of his messy blonde hair was replaced by a wild tangle, and deep lines of sleeplessness etched beneath his piercing blue eyes.

He looked entirely different—frustrated and on edge, like a coiled spring ready to snap.

"Who are you?" Adam demanded, rising from the bed with an intensity that made my heart race.

I instinctively backed away, my mind racing in confusion.

"Adam..." The syllables felt foreign on my tongue, and I regretted the hasty sprint back home.

"You're not Lea," he accused, taking deliberate steps toward me, his posture defensive and confrontational.

"You look exactly like her."

Panic surged through me as I struggled to find my voice, my thoughts tangling in a frantic effort to clarify.

"I am Lea! What are you talking about?" I stumbled over my words, each syllable caught in my throat like a fish out of water.

My heart pounded relentlessly against my ribs, a frantic drumbeat that matched the storm of nerves swirling in my mind.

Finally, Adam turned his gaze toward me. He stepped closer, bridging the gap that felt monumental just moments before he spoke,

"Hello Tanny."