Strings of Memory

Chapter 5

Wings in the Gray

After everything that happened, I went back to school like nothing had changed. Some classmates tried asking me about my father, but I didn't answer. I didn't feel the need to satisfy their curiosity, especially when all they wanted was the story of what happened.

Eventually, they stopped talking to me. I'm not sure why, but I didn't mind. If they were offended by my silence, so be it. They weren't even my friends—just people I shared a class with. To me, they were practically strangers. Them avoiding me was actually a relief; I didn't want to be bothered, and I didn't want to be around people.

When some guys from my class started asking about the bass guitar I used to bring to school, I would just tell them it was broken, giving no further explanation.

During breaks, I would go up to the school rooftop to escape the noise. The constant talking, the echoing voices—it all felt too loud and gave me a headache. On the rooftop, it was quiet. The breeze and the calmness soothed something inside me.

I spent my third and fourth year of junior high school with that same routine. It was a different rhythm than before, but one that kept me steady. Avoiding people, avoiding conversations—it eased my mind, and gave me a sense of calm.

When I graduated, my mother brought up something I wasn't quite prepared for.

"Wynther," tawag niya sa akin. Hininaan ko ang volume ng TV at tumingin sa kinatatayuan niya. Naupo siya sa kaharap kong couch atsaka ako tinitigan ng seryoso kaya naman kaagad kong pinatay ang TV at itinuon sa kanya ang buong atensyon ko.

"I... got a promotion at work," pauna niya na tinanguan ko. Nang makita ang naging reaksyon ko ay nakita ko ang ginawa niyang paglunok.

"And... I'll be moved to a different location. Do you want to move there with me?" marahang niyang tanong.

I know why she's asking me this. She will surely reject that promotion if I decided to stay here. I could see the worry in her eyes. She'd worked so hard after my father died, and this promotion was the reward for all her effort. She didn't need to worry about me.

Tumango ako. "Alright." Sabi ko.

"Are you sure?" paninigurado niya na muli kong tinanguan. I'm sure. I knew this would be for the best. Moving to a new place might help her move on, help her let go of some of the pain.

There were nights I would hear her crying in their room, and it only made the weight on my chest feel even heavier. Hearing her cry hurts and knowing why she's crying hurt more, so moving to a different place would surely help her to get a new start.

Besides, I don't really have anything I want to hold onto in this place. This place is full of my memories with my father but it hurts being here because I would constantly remember him just from a single song, a scent, a place or anything that reminds me of him. And that just hurt more. Moving away would be a fresh start for both of us.

And that's what we did. We packed up and left, moving to a new city where my mother's job would take her. Our new home was a condo. It was smaller than our old house, but it felt like what we needed. It was time to start over, to find a way forward.

Natigil ako sa pag-aayos ng mga gamit namin nang mapansin ang isang pamilyar na itim na case at isang kahon sa gilid. Napalunok ako at unti-unting nilapitan iyon. Marahan kong hinaplos ang kahon at ang itim na tela. It's... my bass and music-related stuff.

Kumabog ang puso ko sa pagdampi ng kamay ko sa mga ito. This is the first time in years I've seen them again. My heart clenched at the sight, and although it hurt to see them, a small part of me felt an odd longing.