The Story of My Life

my Girl

Even though I've had to endure all of this, even though I've been crushed by pain, rejection, and loneliness, I still love her. I always will. No matter how much anger and sadness come my way, no matter how many obstacles are thrown in my path, I will love her. Because she's the only one who has ever truly made me feel happy, who has made me feel seen and loved in a way no one else ever did.
I know my mother hates me for this. She can't accept that I've found someone who makes me feel good about myself, someone who cares for me when it feels like the whole world is against me. And that hurts. It hurts that the one person who should want me to be happy, who should want me to find love, is the one standing in the way. But the truth is, it doesn't matter.
I love her. And I will keep loving her, no matter what anyone says or does. She is my happiness, my light in the dark. And I want her. I want her for as long as I can have her.
Maybe I don't have control over everything in my life. Maybe I can't change the way my family sees me or how the world treats me, but I do have control over who I choose to love. And I choose her. I choose to hold on to the love she gives me because it's the one thing that makes sense in all of this chaos.
I know I can't change everything, and maybe I can't fix all the broken parts of my life, but as long as I have her, I'll keep fighting. Fighting for the love that we share, fighting for the happiness she brings into my life. Because, in the end, she is the one thing I know I can rely on. And I will love her for as long as I can, no matter what. I've already been through so much that has broken my heart, but one thing will never change: I will never stop loving her. No matter what happens, no matter how many obstacles are thrown my way, I will love her. I will love her because she's the one person who has shown me the kind of love I thought I would never get to experience. And yet, the world doesn't seem to understand that.
Why can't the world just accept people for who they are? Why can't my mother accept me for who I am? Why does everyone see it as some kind of sin, something that's wrong, something to be ashamed of? I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not doing anything wrong by being with a girl. I'm not hurting anyone by loving her. All I want is to be accepted. All I want is to be able to love openly, without fear, without judgment.
But instead, it feels like I'm surrounded by hatred. It feels like the world is full of people who can't understand, who can't accept what's different. People who are so filled with hatred that they can't see the love behind it all. I just want to bring love into this world, to show people that it's okay to love whoever you want, no matter their gender.
But no, the world is consumed with hate. The world can't see past their own narrow view of what's "right." And our generation—my generation—it feels like it's broken. We're drowning in hate, in anger, in fear, and it's tearing us apart. It's tearing me apart.
All I've ever wanted is to be loved and to love freely. But it feels like that's too much to ask for. Like I'm asking for something that isn't allowed. Why can't I just be happy? Why can't I just live my life without feeling like I'm doing something wrong?
I'm tired of hiding who I am. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not just to make others comfortable. I am who I am, and I love who I love. And no one can take that from me. No one should ever have to feel like they're less than because of who they love. I won't stop loving her. I can't. And no matter how much hate the world throws my way, I'll keep loving her because that's the one thing no one can take away from me. Why are there racists? Why are there homophobes? Why do people tear others down because of who they are, how they look, where they come from? Why is it like this? I don't want to live in this world. I want to live in a world where love exists, where everyone is accepted for who they are, where no one feels like they have to hide or change themselves to be "good enough."
It's hard to understand why people can be so cruel. We're all human, right? We all deserve respect, love, and kindness. But instead, there's so much hate, so much judgment. People who want to make others feel small because of things they can't change. Because of skin color, because of who they love, because of what they believe in. Why is that the world we live in?
It doesn't make sense to me. Why do people have to hate others just for being themselves? Why does someone's identity, their background, or their sexuality make them a target for hate? What happened to kindness? What happened to understanding and empathy?
I wish we could live in a world where we didn't have to explain ourselves, where we didn't have to fight for our right to just be. I wish people could see that love is love, that a person's worth isn't defined by how they look or who they love, but by the kind of person they are. Why can't people see that?
But instead, there's this ugly cycle of hatred, judgment, and cruelty. And it's everywhere. It's in the words people say, the actions they take, the way they look at someone who's different. And it's hard not to feel like we're losing when all we see around us is this constant stream of hate.
I don't understand why people have to be so cruel. Why does it have to be this way? Why can't we just accept each other, embrace our differences, and live in peace? Why is it so hard for some people to just love?
I wish I could change it. I wish I could make the world see the beauty in everyone, no matter their skin color, no matter their sexual orientation, no matter their background. But all I can do is keep loving, keep hoping, and try to find others who believe that love is stronger than hate. Because, in the end, love is all we need. But it's hard to hold on to that when everything around you feels filled with so much pain and hate. I will never be like that. I will always be the kind of person who loves others for who they are, as long as they don't wish me harm. But these people, the ones who judge and hate, they're different. They live their lives with their narrow view of the world, refusing to accept that others, just like me, deserve to live their truth and be happy.
For example, me. Why does my mother hate me? Why, when I've become the happiest person in the world, just because of this girl? Why can't she understand that? Why can't she see that I've found something real, something that makes me feel alive and loved? I don't understand it. I don't get why this has to be the way it is. I'm just trying to be happy. I'm just trying to live my life without causing harm to anyone, without asking for anything other than acceptance.
I will never be like them. I will never be a racist. I will never be homophobic. Because that's not who I am. That's not the world I want to live in. I want to bring love to this world, not hate. I want to be a person who sees the beauty in every soul, who understands that no one should ever be made to feel less than because of who they are. I want to celebrate love in all its forms, whether it's between two people of the same gender, different races, or different beliefs. I want to spread kindness and acceptance, not cruelty.
I've seen what hatred does, and I refuse to be part of that. I won't be part of the problem. I will always stand for love, for understanding, for compassion. Because the world is already filled with too much pain, too much hatred. All we need is more love, more people willing to open their hearts and minds to others.
I will never understand why people can be so cruel, but I know one thing for sure: I will keep loving. I will keep loving her. I will keep loving the world, even when it feels like the world is full of hate. Because love is all we need. And no matter what, I'll keep fighting for that. People should be accepted for who they are and for who they choose to be. But I've come to realize, I can't change this world. We live in such a broken world, filled with judgment and hatred. And even in my own home, it feels like I'm trapped in a place where love isn't unconditional, where acceptance is a distant dream. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much I try to be myself, it's never enough. I'll never escape this pain, not here, not in this house.
But I know one thing. When I turn 18, I'm going to change my life. I'll leave this place behind. I'll find a way to start fresh, to be free from the weight of this negativity. I'll build a life where I can be who I am without fear, without shame. I'll create a space where I'm loved for exactly who I am, where I can love without fear of judgment or hate. I'll make things better for myself, because I deserve that. I deserve peace. I deserve to live without constantly having to explain or defend myself.
I don't want this anymore. I don't want to keep fighting just to be seen, just to be loved for who I am. I don't want to keep feeling like I'm walking on eggshells, afraid of the next judgment or the next hateful word. But I know I don't have to live like this forever. One day, I'll be free. One day, I'll build a life that's mine, and I won't have to carry this pain with me anymore.
It's hard, feeling like I'm trapped in a place where I'm not understood, where my love isn't accepted. But I hold on to the hope that when I'm older, when I'm free, things will be different. I'll make them different. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find a world where people can love and accept each other for who they truly are. A world where I don't have to hide. A world where I can finally feel like I belong. But right now, I can't change anything. I'm still so young, and it feels like there's nothing I can do to escape this. I've always dreamed of being someone who could make a difference—someone who could help others, even when it feels like no one ever helped me. I used to think maybe, just maybe, I could become famous one day. Not for the fame itself, but to use that platform to help people who are going through what I've gone through. I wanted to be a voice for the voiceless, to stand up for the ones who feel unheard, like I did.
I've always wanted to help others. To be there for people who need someone, to make sure that no one feels as alone and lost as I did. I want to be someone who can offer the support and understanding that I never got. And that's why I've set my sights on becoming a psychologist. Because I want to help people, to be the person I never had when I needed someone most. I want to be the one who listens, who helps others make sense of their pain, who gives them the strength to keep going.
M
Because, in a way, I'm doing this for myself too. If I can help others, maybe I can help myself. Maybe through helping others heal, I can start to heal too. Maybe I can make the world a little bit better, one person at a time. I want to change the lives of people who feel like they've been left behind, like I did. I want them to know they're not alone, that they matter, that their feelings are valid.
I know I can't do all of this right now. I'm still figuring things out, still struggling through the storm. But one day, I'll be the person who makes a difference. One day, I'll be the person who helps others find hope when they think there's none left. And maybe, just maybe, that will make everything worth it. I wanted to be famous, not for the fame itself, but because I wanted to help people. I wanted to use my platform, my voice, to make a real difference in the world. I wanted to show people that it's wrong to judge others, to tear them down, to spread hate. I wanted to be the kind of person who used their reach to make the world a better place, to give people hope, to make them feel seen, heard, and understood.
But instead, it feels like the wrong people get the fame. It's the ones who tear others down, who make a career out of bullying and spreading negativity, who get all the attention. It's the people who spread hate, who mock others, who thrive on making others feel small, who get the platform to amplify their voices. And it's frustrating, it's heartbreaking, because I don't understand why those people are the ones who get rewarded.
Why do we celebrate cruelty? Why do we give fame to people who tear others apart? Why do we lift up those who spread negativity instead of those who try to make the world a better place?
It doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't feel fair. I've spent so much time trying to understand why it's like this, why people who are kind and loving and want to help others don't get the attention they deserve. And the more I think about it, the more I realize: the world often rewards the wrong things. The world amplifies voices that do harm instead of those who try to heal.
But that's why I still want to try. Even if it feels like the wrong people get the fame, I'm not going to stop fighting for the world I believe in. I'll keep pushing for kindness, for love, for acceptance. I'll keep using whatever I have to make a change, because one day, maybe the world will see that helping others, spreading love, and lifting people up is what truly deserves to be celebrated
Even if it's hard, even if it feels like a battle I'm losing, I'll keep fighting for it. Because the world needs more of that. The world needs more love. And I'll do whatever I can to be a part of that change. I hope, one day, I'll be able to help people, to show them that it's wrong to treat others the way they do. I want to be someone who makes people see the value in kindness, compassion, and understanding. I want to reach those who feel invisible, those who feel like no one cares, and show them that they are worthy of love and respect.
I want to be there for the people who never had anyone to help them. The ones who feel lost, the ones who are fighting battles no one can see. I want to give them the support I never had, to offer a shoulder to lean on when they feel like the weight of the world is too much to bear. I want to remind them that they matter, that they are not alone in this fight.
I know that change doesn't happen overnight, and I know that the road to helping others is long and difficult. But I also know that I can't give up. Even if it feels impossible right now, I will keep pushing forward. I will work hard to become the person who can help others, to become the person who makes a difference in their lives. I will keep going, even when it feels like everything is falling apart, because I know that my story, my pain, can turn into something that helps others.
One day, I hope that people will understand that treating others with cruelty, with judgment, with hate—it's never the answer. I hope that one day, I'll be able to show others that love is what truly changes the world.
And even though it feels like the world is against me, I'll keep believing in hope. I'll keep believing that one day, I'll be able to help. One day, I'll be able to make a difference. And hopefully, when that day comes, I'll be able to show the world what it really means to love and accept others for who they truly are.