shards of mars

ripped

the dystopian feeling of the flower section of a supermarket you don't really know at night
lost in thought, hollow but heavy, on the verge of tears wandering with no aim, no goal 
you buy yourself flowers for the first time, to go home to the heart-shaped vase he bought you because he loved you and you thought it was beautiful, and it got filled with beautiful flowers
that he would buy you when your life was low and and he'd smile and bring them home
but now there's no one to buy you flowers except yourself and your broken heart 
and you'll sit alone with nothing but the fan and you beating heart filling the silence
in those lonely moments you will forget every shitty thing that he did, and the life you left on the streets that you will never need to walk again and wonder what he's doing, where he is because fuck knows you can't check now and even if you're fine, more at peace when you're surrounded by people the empty feeling and deep regrets will haunt you when you drive home alone
and you remember that he ripped your heart, and you know you ripped his and you have to think why didn't you mean enough to him for him to fix everything?