Some Kind of Love

Him.

James wasn't prepared for this day, not at all. He woke up, alarm blaring in his face, and his mom screaming his name. To say the least, it was frightening.

Groaning, not wanting to get up at all, he slams his hand over his alarm clock. The over barring sound doesn't stop, like expected. James reaches down and unplugs the damned thing, sighing in relief as it stops it's racket. Well, he was awake now, not having the courage to shimmy back into his bed and drift back into not-so-nice dream land. So, standing up, wrapping his hand around his dresser handle and pulling with a little too much force, he pulls out a pair of dark blue jeans and tugs them on, diminishing the very last of his sleep.

"JAMES BARLEY ALBERQU!"

"Coming!" He yells impatiently.

James dares a glance at his reflection in his bathroom mirror, his figure more zoomed out, and more of his body visible. He looks okay, his Metallica shirt really baggy, which he is content with, since it hides his body well. At least--to him it does. His pants aren't as baggy as his shirt, James can't remember anything that was, but they still hung loose around his thighs and legs. Everything about James is loose, his hair, his clothes, his poster, when internally, it is anything but loose. He always feels unnecessarily conflicted, like there is nothing he can do, even though there isn't a reason to feel that way. He looked it up and found out it is 'depression' and there are ways to treat it, but...well, it's hard to tell. He doesn't know if he has depression, saying that feels like he is making it out to be worse than it is. So he doesn't call it depression, he calls it an empty feeling inside of himself. Nothing is there, never. So when he looks at him he doesn't understand why that emptiness in is suddenly filled. With what? He doesn't know. He just knows it's filled. James is scared of what the hell that means, last he checked he was drooling over tits on porn hub. Was he really gay? No. No. No. He was just admirable, nothing more, nothing less.

Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen, James takes his seat at the end of the round table, looking down at his plate in disgust. There was nothing wrong with what was on the plate. Crispy and mouthwatering bacon, buttery waffles that had not too much syrup, but not too little and piping hot eggs. No matter the food, he was always forcing it down his throat, and resisting the urge to gag. He picks up his fork, shoveling the food in, small bite by small bite. He stops soon, not wanting to throw up all over their dining table.

James stands up, his chair scraping against the tiled floor. "Done already?" His mom, Maria, asks.

"Yep..." James responds, blatantly. His mom responds with an mmh of recognition.

"Brush your teeth."

"I know, mom. You really don't need to micromanage me."

"Okay. I'm working late tonight, I'll order you pizza."

"No need. I can do it myself." James declines her offer, because he knows that if she orders it, he will end up throwing it all away. He doesn't need to feel guilty.

James brushes his teeth, avoiding his reflection as much as possible. He instead zones in on the faucet. He scrubs his teeth hard, making his gums bleed in the process, and he is thankful for it. Once he's done, he climbs in his car and starts the ten minute drive to the high school. It is the spring of 2023 and his junior year. He was aiming to go to Cal Poly, and it was looking good for him in the long run, it is really the only thing he is looking forward to. Soon, he gets to school, and he hopes above all he doesn't run into him in the process of the day, but James knows that it is inevitable in the long run. It always is.

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Adam sees the guy again, at lunch, this time. He is wearing baggy clothes again, Adam notices, and he can't help but wonder if he has ever worn anything but baggy clothes. He also wonders if there's a reason, or if the guy just likes the look. Adam had to admit, the style doesn't look bad on him, but it makes it obvious he is trying to cover up his thin frame. Adam doesn't know why, some girls really like thin and lean guys like him. The shirt he is wearing today, though, is really fucking baggy, basically swallowing him whole.