In Between

Suicidal.

Dani had only one thought in her mind, "I want to die." She really did. Everything was so much. Her life was a mess. She was a mess. Why was she like this? Why did she start to get bad again? Why was she in love? She felt so stupid. She also felt numb. But no matter what Dani made sure no one noticed. Because why would they care anyways? Right?

Dani had been working on some music but nothing was good. She just wanted to die. She really did. Everyday she got up just to fake being happy. She didn't even like Olivia's presence anymore. She didn't understand anything. She wanted to be okay. But she couldn't be. She was always fucked up. She stayed awake most nights. She started to not eat again. She never felt hungry anyways. She tried to go a day without self harming but she couldn't. She had to do it. It was the only way to let out everything. It felt good to finally self harm again.

Dani sat zoned out in bed, Weenie lying next to her. She was going to write down some lyrics but she couldn't. She lost all motivation to do anything. She wish she could disappear again. Why was she like this? Why was she suicidal? She wanted so badly to tell someone but no one would get how she's like this. No one will get the battles she's constantly fighting in her head. If someone had her head for only a few minutes they would go crazy. Maybe she was going crazy. She is probably crazy.

Weenie moved in his sleep. She wished she was a dog. No problems, sleep all day, always fed, always getting water, having people who love you. Her dream. She groaned and laid down. Her arms ached from the cuts. Some from a few minutes ago. Some from yesterday. She couldn't stop. It felt so good. Olivia came in she immediately acted okay.

"Get dressed we're going out." Olivia said flopping on Dani's bed.

"What? Why?" Dani said sitting back up. She didn't want to go out. She wanted to rot away.

"It's Colby's birthday duh!" Olivia said with a smile pulling Dani up by her wrists. She tried not to hiss at the pain but it hurt so bad. Shit. She had thought. She had forgotten it was Colby's birthday. She felt so bad for that. She hadn't even gotten him a gift.

"Where are we going?" Dani said with a smile, fake smile of course. She felt as if she couldn't have a real smile ever again.

"The club! We need to get you in a dress!" Olivia said opening Dani's closet. Shit shit shit. She couldn't wear a dress. The scars were still there. And they weren't fading any time soon.

"Can I wear a jacket or something with my dress I'm really cold..." Dani said. Olivia groaned.

"Daniiiii you would look so much cuter without a jacket!" Olivia said pulling one out. Her birthday dress. The memories came flooding back. She was in love with Colby. No. She couldn't be. He would never date someone or like someone like Dani. She was too much to take care of. She wasn't even pretty. And he liked blondes.

Olivia put the dress in Dani's hands and grabbed a dress for herself and went into the bathroom and changed. Dani sat and watched as she grabbed her makeup stuff and started doing her makeup. She didn't need makeup. She was pretty just like that. Dani always wanted to use a lot of makeup. Her mom always told her no amount of makeup could fix her. But she still thought it made it a bit better.

~•~
Dani put on her jacket to cover the scars and headed downstairs. The jacket matched her dress but Olivia still didn't like that she was wearing a jacket too. Katelyn was with Colby already. She looked so pretty. She had the perfect body. No wonder Colby is dating her.

Dani played with the hem of her jacket as they sat in the car. They played Colby's music since it was his birthday. Dani zoned out. Colby was in the middle, Katelyn next to him and Dani next to him, Sam driving, Olivia in the passenger. All Dani could smell was Colby's cologne and Katelyn's perfume. She stayed silent the way there. Katelyn talked to Colby the whole time.

Dani wanted so badly to jump out of the car and get run over. But she couldn't. She had to stay happy and alive. Even if it was tearing her apart. Soon they arrived. Dani took a deep breath as they walked in. The smell of alcohol and beer reeked through the place. Dani didn't want to drink but oh how good it sounded. She could drown her thoughts out in alcohol. Colby and Katelyn went off together. Sam went with them, Dani went to the bar, Olivia followed closely behind.

"Your gonna drink tonight?" Olivia asked Dani as she sat down. Dani nodded. She had to. Her thoughts were making her suicidal. She just wanted to drown them all out in alcohol. Olivia smiled and sat next to her. They both ordered drinks. Dani ordered more than Olivia once she finished. Olivia didn't question it. Olivia just went to the dance floor.

~•~
Colby's pov:
As me and Katelyn walked over to a booth we ordered drinks, Sam went with us too. But for some reason Dani and Olivia went to the bar. That was strange for Dani. She never drank. Olivia did. Not Dani though. Dani has been acting weird since her boyfriend but I decided not to question it. Dani started to drink. A lot. Probably more than she should. Olivia wasn't stopping her. I mentally groaned. I excused myself and went over to Dani.

~•~
3rd person pov
Dani sat on the chair as she didn't noticed Colby coming over to her.

"That's enough." He said taking away her drink. She looked up.

"What do you want. And give it back." She said grabbing the drink back. She didn't want to talk to him. She didn't care it was his birthday.

"Dani you're getting drunk stop. And you never drink, why are drinking?" Colby said trying to grab her drink back.

"Mind your business?" Dani said taking another sip.

"Dani seriously stop. You're gonna hurt yourself." Colby said placing a hand on her shoulder which she quickly pulled off.

"I don't care. Leave me alone." Dani said turning away.

"Dani." Colby said sternly as he turned her so she looked at him.

"Colby." Dani said as she stood up, kind of wobbly.

"Dani come on. I'm taking you home." Colby said while grabbing her arm.

"What?! No! I'm not going home yet!" Dani responded as she tore his arm off her.

"Yes. You are." Colby said leading her out the club door as she argued. He grabbed her wrists but this time she wasn't thinking and winced. (They were already outside)

"What?" He said she quickly pulled her wrists away and hid them behind her back.

"Dani. Show me." Colby said tilting her chin so she looked up at him. Her eyes were glossy. She wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.

He gently grabbed her wrists and pulled up her sleeves seeing the many many cuts.

A/n

That was a long chapter.

No one's reading this anyways.....