Lesson in Desire

chapter 7

Assessments were just around the corner, and my mind felt like a storm of thoughts crashing into each other. I had to improve, to prove myself. I’d always pushed myself academically, and I couldn’t just let my mistakes hold me back now. But things rarely went the way I planned—especially with my luck, which seemed to always throw me off course. And here I was again, sitting in Professor Kim’s office, the quiet campus almost deserted. Only a few teachers remained, wrapping up their work.

Professor Kim sat across from me, looking up with an exasperated sigh. "Why did you punish me instead of her? It wasn’t even my fault," I muttered, unable to keep the frustration from my voice.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, a trace of frustration in his gaze. "How many times are you planning to argue about this, Ms. Lee? Just finish the questions I assigned if you want to leave early."

“As if the campus isn’t practically empty now anyway,” I grumbled under my breath, barely audible.

“Y/N!” His stern voice cut through the air, a warning in his sharp glare that made me shrink back slightly. With a resigned sigh, I returned to my work, diligently solving each question. But then, as I neared the end, I stumbled on a particularly confusing one. I looked up, hesitant, my gaze flicking between the question and him as I debated whether to ask for help.

Without looking up, he spoke in a low tone, “What is it? If there’s a problem, just tell me.”

I bit my lip and then, gathering a bit of courage, slid the paper across to him, pointing to the question. He picked it up, eyes narrowing as he studied it, fully immersed. Watching him like this, focused and intense, I couldn’t help but feel a little awe—and annoyance—that even now, he held this kind of effect over me.

He sat up straight, unfolding the paper in front of me, his intense gaze focused as he prepared to explain. I straightened myself as well, my curiosity overriding my nerves. He began, voice low but clear, “Alright, here’s where most people get tangled up in quantum mechanics. In this part, we're dealing with the probability amplitude, which essentially describes the wave function. To simplify, think of it in terms of complex numbers and exponential functions. This equation”—he pointed to a line—“is all about mapping the particle’s position using probability, not certainty.”

I nodded, captivated as he skillfully broke down the problem. His explanation was smooth, his tone almost soothing, and it made everything click into place. After a few more minutes of his guidance, I was done with all my questions. “Finished!” I announced, standing up and packing my things. He glanced up as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

“Wait for me at the parking lot. I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he said with a nod. I nodded back, heading outside.

But just as I stepped out of the building, the first raindrops hit my face, quickly turning into a downpour. I glanced back, hoping to see him, but he wasn’t there yet. With a small thrill, I surrendered to the rain, walking slowly toward his car, letting the drops soak through, savoring every moment as I tilted my face toward the sky.

Around the empty parking lot, I opened my arms, spinning in a small circle, relishing the coolness of the rain on my skin. That’s when I heard footsteps approaching, and I opened my eyes to see Taehyung rushing over, umbrella in hand, his expression halfway between frustration and concern.

“Are you out of your mind? Who told you to get drenched in the rain?!” he said, voice tinged with exasperation.

I grinned, defiant. “My heart did. Got a problem with that?”

He muttered under his breath, “This woman…” barely audible, but enough to make me smirk.

Finally, we slipped into the car, and he drove us along the quiet streets. The adrenaline from dancing in the rain had worn off, and I started feeling the chill. Exhaustion crept in, and I could feel a shiver settling over me. Taehyung glanced over, concern deepening when he noticed my pale face. He took a turn that wasn’t toward my house, and I remembered then that I’d mentioned my parents were out of town.

As we pulled up to his apartment, my body felt heavy, my skin starting to flush with fever. He helped me inside, guiding me toward his bedroom, where I collapsed onto the bed. A moment later, he returned with a pajama set, handing it to me. “Change into this, alright? You’ll feel warmer,” he said before leaving the room.

I gathered enough energy to change and crawled under the comforter, shivering. Taehyung came back with a tray, and I noticed he still hadn’t changed himself. His shirt sleeves were rolled to his elbows, the top two buttons undone, revealing a hint of his collarbone. His hair was damp from the rain, and something about his appearance made me gulp, scolding myself for even noticing.

“Here, drink this soup. It’ll help,” he said, sitting beside me, eyes softening as he handed me the bowl. I took a sip, feeling warmth spread through me, and finished the soup as he watched. Once done, he handed me some medicine and a glass of water. He turned to leave, but in a burst of impulsive courage, I blurted out, “Kiss me.” I demanded in my whimpering voice.

He froze, turning back slowly, his gaze meeting mine in the dim light. My heart raced, breath catching in my throat. For a moment, he just held my gaze, the silence stretching until he finally murmured, “Go back to sleep.” He shuts me up with his cold voice.

Then he flicked off the light, leaving me in the quiet darkness, warmth and frustration mingling inside me as I closed my eyes.