Lesson in Desire

chapter 12

The silence lingered, thick and suffocating, until I finally blurted out, “Why are you always like this?”

He raised an eyebrow, his calm demeanor unwavering. “Like what?”

“Intimidating. Unreadable. You make me feel like I’m walking on eggshells every time I’m around you!” My frustration boiled over, and I could feel the exhaustion of the past few days catching up with me.

His expression didn’t change, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—guilt, maybe? “Is that how I make you feel?” he asked, his voice still maddeningly composed.

“Yes!” I snapped, throwing my hands in the air. “You confuse me, Professor. One moment, you’re aloof and untouchable. The next, you’re—” I stopped myself, realizing I’d said too much.

He took a deliberate step closer, his calmness unsettling. “The next, I’m what?”

I swallowed hard, my throat dry. “You’re… different. Like you care. And it’s messing with my head.”

His lips quirked into a faint, almost bitter smile. “Maybe I do care, Y/N. Did you ever think of that?”

His words rendered me speechless, my heart pounding in my chest.

“Now tell me,” he said, his voice dropping lower, “what exactly do you want from me?”

I swallowed hard, my throat dry, as I struggled to form words. "I...I don't know," I stammered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Professor Kim's gaze intensified, his eyes burning with an unspoken question. He took another step closer, the air between us thickening like a physical presence.

"Don't lie to me, Y/N," he whispered, his breath caressing my skin. "You know exactly what you want."
My heart pounded in my chest, each beat echoing through the silence. I felt trapped, caught in the web of his words.

"I want..." I began, my voice trembling. "I want to understand you. To know what's going on inside that head of yours."

A hint of surprise flickered across his face, followed by a slow, deliberate smile.

"I want to know you as a person. What are you like. I want to dive deeper in your understanding, to know what goes in your mind whenever you share an intense eye contact with me. I want us to develop a stable relationship within us whilst we're engaged." I said in two breaths without glancing at him.

He tilted my chin gently, his touch firm but not forceful, compelling me to meet his gaze. His eyes searched mine, probing for the sincerity behind my words. 

“A stable relationship,” he repeated slowly, as if tasting the words. “Do you think that’s possible… given how we are?” 

I swallowed hard, my throat constricting under the weight of his question. “I don’t know,” I admitted, my voice trembling. “But I think we owe it to ourselves to try. To stop pretending like this… tension doesn’t exist.” 

The corner of his mouth quirked upward, a ghost of a smile that vanished as quickly as it appeared. “Tension, hmm? Is that what you think this is?” 

“What else would you call it?” I challenged, my words bolder than I felt. 

He leaned in slightly, his face now mere inches from mine. “I’d call it something dangerous, Y/N. Something that could consume us if we’re not careful.” 

“Maybe I don’t want to be careful anymore,” I whispered, the words escaping before I could reconsider. 

The flicker of surprise in his eyes was quickly replaced by something darker, more intense. He moved his hand from my chin to trace a thumb lightly along my jawline, his touch igniting a fire beneath my skin.