Disgrace

Chapter 3: Blunt

Katrina

"Yo bro, is that your Auntie? Dåaaamn." A skinny, red-haired boy said as we approached Theo here in the University of Guam's in-house covered basketball court. This scrawny boy's eyes disgustingly lingred on my bare thighs and exposed shoulders as I was only wearing a pair of slippers, shorts and a sleeveless shirt to counter the tropical, island heat of Guam. My hair is also up in a messy bun while Dior sunglasses rest just above my forehead. There were students swarming the place from left to right, approaching tables of frats, sorrorities, and even honor society's—-like where Theo's at. Gabby,  who is beside me, is currently curiously busy looking around while I hold his little hand.

"I am eighteen, ma'am." Kinindatan pa niya ako. Tila kinilabutan naman ako habang nalukot ang mukha ko. Jesus christ.

"Hey, stop it. I could be your mother." I sternly pointed a finger at him. The boys around him said a series of 'Oooof!'

"Well, call me a motherfúcker because I would totally—-"

"---I wonder if that's the same mouth you use to talk to your dear mother, hm?" I replied that it made him shut up. "Do something else before this Auntie reports you to the dean, understand?"

Seryoso naman siyang sunod-sunod na tumango.

"Yes, ma'am." Mabilis niyang sagot bago siya naglakad palayo kasama ang iba pang mga estudyante.

"Sorry, Auntie. He's a jackåss." He shook his head.

"I've dealt with worse." I smiled.

It was true, being a woman in medicine means you have to deal with twice as much disrespect and work thrice as much harder than your male counterparts. I have had to work with some male physician who deliberately 'mistaken' me for a nurse when DOCTOR was clearly written on my badge. I've had patients refuse my medical care as they prefer a male doctor because a 'pretty face and killer body like me belongs in the kitchen making sandwiches and popping out babies, not doing a man's job.'

"Here's some Jamaican Grill, Gabby said it's your favorite."

Gabby gave him a toothy grin as he looked up at his brother.

"Thank you, Tita Kat." He replied sincerely as he accepted the paperbag of food.

*.*.*.*.*.*

"Smoke a blunt, it'll make you feel better." I told Ate Di as we both stood here at the back of the hotel, where she currently works as General Manager. Her pantsuit and a shining name tag made me feel very underdressed. Meanwhile Gabby's still in my car, busy playing the Angry Birds he just downloaded on my phone. I figured that it is better to leave Gabby in the car while I face his mom, I knew it's not going to be a friendly encounter knowing how we left off last time I talked to her. Last thing I want is for my nephew to witness a very hostile conversation.

Sure enough, Ate Di almost popped a vein when she saw my rental Corvett instead of Theo's Prius. I had to explain to her that her son is busy at school and I volunteered and that it was my idea to pick up Gabby from school, still my dear sister was not pleased, just pissed at me.

"I can't believe you're telling me to do drugs right now." She glared at me.

"Hey, weed's legal here in Guam for both recreational and medicinal purposes." I replied. "It is actually beneficial with lots of patients managing chronic pain and side effects of chemotherapy. I could prescribe some for you, you know, for stress."

"Jesus. What are you a doctor?" Sarkastiko niyang tanong.

"Well, now that you asked...yeah."

Her glare only stopped burning me like an acid when she started laughing like what I said was the funniest joke she's ever heard in her entire life. I grew to be thick-skinned, but still it hurts that my own sister does not believe that I could be something that great.

"Go Google me right now." I said when her painful laughs finally stopped, still I didn't show that it hurt me.

"There is no way.."

"Go google me; Katrina Isobel, Emergency Medicine Physician, Chicago Medical Board Registry." Seryoso kong dagdag, even telling her the keywords to search.

She looked at me skeptically before she pulled out her phone and started typing away. Napalunok siya hang ilang segundo siyang nakatitig sa screen ng phone niya.

"What the fúck? Who would trust you with their life?"

Another pang hit my chest.

"There you go, you do know how to cuss, Ate Di, and thanks for the vote of confidence."

"You're really a real doctor." Usal pa niya.

"Don't make it sound like it's a bad thing."

"You were in Texas, you told me you wanted to be a beautician."

"That was fifteen years ago and I am still a beautician to myself.." I chuckled, she did not find it funny at all. She still looked....suprised, bamboozled even, like she couldn't believe it to the point that she must be expecting a camera crew to pop out right now to tell her that this was just some sort of an elaborate prank, led by her troublesome and headache little sister.

"I walked both the college and medical school graduations wishing you and mom were there." I said and swallowed the thorn in my throat. "But hey, it's done, nothing could ever take us back to those moments. You know what, if you don't want to do drugs, you can definitely masturbåte–"

"Katrina."

"It releases endorphins so you wouldn't have to sound like there's a stick up your åss ninety percent of the time. That's a fact."

"Dåmn you." She glared at me again.

"I can recommended some excellent toys—"

"You never take anything seriously, do you?"

I have to make light of the situation. That's what I learned from being alone for many years, fending for myself. If I didn't know how to keep myself laughing and smiling—-I would've been six feet under by now or in the streets high in heroin, but no. Here I am, just a borderline alcoholic with commitment issues who loves her nephews very much and trying to figure out a way to fix her relationship with her only sister—-who hates her guts and would rather walk a mile of a bed of burning coal than to ever ask for my help.

"Okay, sorry." Seryoso ko nang sabi. "But you can't get mad at Theo for asking for my help. I would always be here for him, for Gabby, and especially for you—-you're not alone anymore, Ate Di."

Her face hardened even more, just void of any affections.

"I don't need you anymore."

My heart clenched as she walked to my car and ushered Gabby out with his backpack.

"Stay away from me and my kids." She hissed at me, low enough that Gabby didn't hear it. She then started walking back to the gaping metal back door with Gabby. Clueless, he gave me a little cute wave and said, "See you tomorrow, Auntie Kat!"

My eyes glistened in tears but I pushed out a smile and waved back.