The Demons: a Guided Studies Story

The Demons: The Rise of The Discordian Empire

Time: 2032

The air crackled with tension in Liam Kennedy's lair, illuminated by dim, flickering screens casting sinister shadows over the room. Liam's eyes narrowed, his fingers digging into his desk before he smashed one of the monitors. Glass flew everywhere as he bellowed, "GAGH! I CAN'T BELIEVE MY #1 E-KITTEN IS DEAD! MADDOX IS FUCKING DEAD! SAME WITH WEDONG! WEDONG IS ALSO DEAD. I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! MY 2 BEST E-KITTENS! FUCK!" Liam's voice was pure venom as he howled. "I WILL MAKE SURE THAT JACOB STEELE AND HIS OTHER LITTLE SHITTY FRIENDS GET THE FUCK BACK HERE! I NEED MY COMFORT FOOD! I NEED MCDONALD'S! I NEED MY 50 BIG MACS!!! I NEED MY HAT!!!!"

One of his minions, trembling and barely holding their composure, timidly meowed, "My master... You are causing this whole lair to rumble. If this keeps happening, the lair will crumble into bits!"

Liam slowly turned, eyes narrowed, his face reddening. "YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY, HUH? WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING WHEN I EAT YOU!" The E-kitten whimpered, a tinge of genuine fear flashing across her face.

"Oh no, my master, please. My lord Liam Kennedy, don't eat me. I'm sensitive. Meow!" she pleaded.

"THEN DON'T MAKE JOKES ABOUT MY JIGGLE PHYSICS!" Liam's chair let out a groan of protest before it snapped under his weight, sending him crashing to the floor with a deafening thud. His face turned red like a tomato. "FUUUUUCK!!!" he roared, pounding the floor.

Meanwhile, across town, Jacob and his crew were discussing the only artifact that could thwart Liam's madness—his treasured hat.

"We need to store this hat somewhere Liam can't get to," Jacob said with a confident smirk.

Dylan raised a brow. "Yeah, but where do we put it?"

Jacob grinned wider. "We should put it in 24 Hour Fitness. That place is Liam Kennedy's worst nightmare."

Ryan Cadi giggled, "Haha, but where exactly in 24 Hour Fitness?"

Jacob tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Next to a treadmill, of course. Treadmills are his biggest fear."

"What if he finds out?" Dylan asked.

"Don't worry, I've got someone to guard it," Jacob replied cryptically.

Gabe's eyes narrowed. "Who? Tell me, or you're getting back shots of doom!"

But Jacob held firm, refusing to reveal his plan until they arrived at the gym. Gabe grumbled, frustrated, but fell silent as the crew made their way to 24 Hour Fitness.

Upon arrival, they were met by a jacked-up figure running on a treadmill, casually lifting weights as they moved. Jacob's jaw dropped, mumbling under his breath, "Mommy..."

The figure turned, her eyes lighting up as she spotted Jacob. "Yacoob!" she exclaimed, her voice rich with familiarity. It was Ariani.

"Ariani? Damn, what happened to you?" Jacob said, shocked. "Last I saw you, you were on the verge of suicide. Now look at you. You're a jacked-up mommy."

She laughed, shaking her head. "The gym has been keeping my mind away from that stuff" she replied, a bit of pride in her tone.

Jacob handed Ariani the hat. "You'll guard this, right?"

"Yes my sweet little Megamind" Ariani replied with a fierce grin, fastening the hat tightly around her arm. "The Discordians will have to get through me."

A strong E-kitten from the distance heard the name "Discordian" and saw the homies passing the hat to the fine lady. "I must alert master about this!"

Back at Liam's lair, he was devouring a greasy mountain of Big Macs, sauce dripping down his chin, when the E-kitten burst in, panting frantically. "My master, I saw the homies at 24 Hour Fitness... giving the hat to some lady."