The Summer We Found Us | BoyxBoy Romance (18+)

Chapter 23 | Tobias

"I'm so sorry, Tobias. I really thought that was going to work." Elijahs voice wavered. I could tell he was trying to hold himself together.

I felt defeated too but it was honestly okay. It was a far-fetched plan anyway.

"It's okay, Elijah," I said, squeezing his thigh.

"No, it's not! This is all my fault. If I had kept my stupid mouth shut, this holiday would've actually been so much fun. If I had just gotten over my shit, we'd actually still be friends. If I had just grown up and stopped being a total baby, we might've been—" He cut himself off.

I looked down at my hands. I think I knew where he was going and I thought about that too. I thought about it so often that it hurt.

We've lost so much time over these years due to not talking and miscommunication. In this one road trip alone, I've laughed and talked more than I did in my whole high school career. That's not normal. Life would've been normal if I had him by my side.

I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned my head back on the headrest.

"Don't shut me out. Talk to me." Elijah pleaded.

"What's there to say? It's my fault too, Elijah. This isn't just on you. I made my own bed." I shrugged, looking out my window.

"Well, then we can lay in that bed together." He joked.

I tilted my head at him. "You say and do the most sexual things at the most random times, you know that right?" I laughed. I actually like this about him.

"I know." He laughed softly, leaning his head back on his headrest too.

Suddenly, his playlist on his phone switched to the next song which played Too Experienced by Barrington Levy. Jude's song.

"This song always makes me think of Dad." Elijah smiled.

I smiled too since I thought the same thing but quickly that smile faded when I realized how we were headed back to the lakehouse where he wasn't happy with me.

"He's going to come back around, Tobias. He will." He glanced at me, dropping his hand in my lap. I looked down at it and joined my hand with his.

"You're lucky, you know. I've always wanted a Dad like him and I think I kind of got lost in the feeling of having it." I said squeezing his hand in mine.

"You didn't lose it. It's still there. News flash, Dads get mad sometimes. They forgive you though because they love you."

"Not mine." I gulped, looking out the window. I didn't mean to say that but it just slipped out.

"Do you feel comfortable to talk to me about him? What you went through?"

I thought it over. I've never really talked about it ever with anyone. I don't know where I'd start even if I tried.

"Maybe if you...asked me questions. I'd be able to answer them."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Elijah dropped my hand for a moment to turn down the music. It was nice of him to come back to me right away, putting his hand right back to where he had it before.

I grabbed onto him and readied myself.

"Well, I'd love to understand what life was like for you when we were kids. I had no clue what was happening when you went home without me there. Are there any parts of your home life that you'd feel comfortable with sharing with me?"

I breathed in, racking my brain for which parts I'd feel most comfortable with telling him. I didn't want him to look at me differently but talking to someone about it actually feels kind of nice right now. Especially since that someone is him.