The Summer We Found Us | BoyxBoy Romance (18+)

Chapter 15 | Tobias

I took a long breath in and breathed out over my pint of Rolling Rock.

It was Friday night, I had the rest of the night off and honestly, I had nowhere else to be.

The more I thought about what Elijah said about me (which replayed in my mind often), the more I wondered if it was really true.

"What's on your mind, Tobias? You've been so far in your head lately." Jude said stepping behind the bar to polish some glasses.

I took a deep breath. "How you're my best friend. Truthfully, I think you've been my only true friend for a long time." I scratched the back of my head.

"That's not true. You've had Elijah." He shrugged.

This made me laugh. "You heard it from the guy himself. He thinks I've 'stolen his life'".

I hardly count us as friends. This thought made me sad. I took a long sip of my beer.

"He just feels that way because he missed you so much back in school. Plus, seeing you here with me probably stirs those feelings up even more." Jude set the glass down and picked up another to polish.

"Maybe so." I sighed. "But I can't shake the feeling that he's at least a little bit right," I said leaning on the bar wood.

"Oh? Are you trying to steal me away?" Jude smirked.

"No. Plus I wouldn't have to try that hard." I laughed, throwing a napkin at him. He laughed as he dodged it. "I just mean... all of my life, I feel like someone has been telling me who I am. What to do. What to like. It's gotten so bad that I don't know if I've ever made a decision for myself before." I swallowed. "I just feel like... maybe Elijah was right in saying I don't have a life of my own. I don't know what my interests are. I barely have any friends."

Jude looked me over and sat down the glass in his hand on the bar.

"My dad always said I was nothing—" I exhaled, looking down at my hands.

"Hey!" Jude snapped. "Don't you ever quote that asshole again. He doesn't deserve the honor. You are not nothing." He shook his finger at me.

I sat up and nodded my head.

"Oh, Jesus." Jude sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have yelled at you there. I just... I see a lot of myself in you."

"You do?" That shocked me. He's never said that to me before.

He smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah. When I was young and got involved with Elijah's mom. I barely knew anything about myself. I was so lost by the time Elijah was born, I had a full on meltdown. Wound up five hours away at a casino, betting my life away. I was drunk and a mess and had no clue what to do."

"Wow, this really makes me feel better."

"The point is. I figured it out. In time, we all always do. We all put so much pressure on knowing everything about ourselves and having it all figured out when in reality everyone is just living every day at a time for the first time." He leaned in. "Life is long, Tobias. You've got time. You want to make a life for yourself? Well, okay then. Time isn't up. You can start learning about yourself right now. You can start making a life for yourself today - right now!" He smacked the wood with his palm which made me jump in excitement.

"Right now?" I smiled, shocked.

"Yeah, right now. What are you into?" He smiled.

"Uh, I like... running." I laughed. This felt silly.