Killer || m.g.c

1.1

Bonnie Jackson.

Twenty minutes later and I was sitting in the front seat of Michael's car, watching as he jogged up to the motel's reception block and kicked the keys under the door before walking back.

We'd decided to leave the body where it was. Michael said dumping it would only leave a trail and the lack of forms we had to fill upon arrival really kept us out of the picture.

I looked out the window as Michael got in the car, just wanting to be left alone for a bit. Everything felt surreal at this point. The feeling of pulling the trigger felt like some distant dream, as if I'd wake up and be back at home with Nate or, at the very least, in the front of Michael's car. I couldn't believe that it was only this morning I'd gone for a run. Only yesterday I'd attempted a second date with Michael, and only a day between now and my first meeting with him. Only hours ago I was running to forget my problems and here I was, driving a way from a man I killed.

"It's been a long day." Michael sighed as if reading my thoughts.

"You stole me this morning, it feels like that was weeks ago." I said, still in disbelief at how quickly everything's changed.

"I didn't steal you." Michael snorted a laugh. "I didn't just grab you off a shelf and hide you under my jacket."

"Didn't exactly ask me to join you first." I pointed out, my tone showing no signs of aggravation or distress.

"You still considering this as kidnapping?" He asked, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

"Should I be considering this as kidnapping?" I retorted.

"To other criminals, yeah. But to cops? Definitely not."

"Why to other criminals?"

"Street cred'." Michael said, making his voice deeper. I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"What the actual fuck was that?" I chocked out in between laughs. I saw a smile crack on Michael's lips and threw my head back.

"Just being thug, Bon. You have so much to learn." Another round of giggles. I wiped at my eyes as my laughig fit came to an end.

"You are so lame, oh my God." I sighed, the smile staying on my lips. He pouted but said nothing.

Silence filled the car like a morning fog, suffocating me as I sat in it.

"Where're we going?" I asked as I felt my chest tighten, needing to slice the silence before my thoughts could make their way in to my head. I didn't want to hate or regret right now, I just wanted to forget.

"Another motel. It's like, twenty minutes away so not far now." Michael replied, his answer making me relax with relief.

"Thank God, I'm so ready to sleep." I sighed, leaning my head against the seat belt.

"I'd say sleep now but then I'll have to wake you up in a few minutes. Not really worth it."

"Nah, it's fine." I said. My eyebrows furrowed together as realisation hit me. "I hated you this morning."

"Then you killed a guy and I was there to help."

"Yep."

"Still hate me?" The question took me off guard.

Did I hate Michael? I mean, I used to hate him for being a killer but now, here I was. A killer. Hating someone for doing something I too have taken part in would be wrong, I knew that. But he was also an ass. He made me walk home after a terrible incident on our second date and had hurt me only this morning. He was an ass, but also a sweet guy. His mood swings were sharp and unpredictable, but still, here I was, not even attempting to get away. Was it because I didn't think I had or chance, or because I actually didn't mind him? Surely, I must be sick for not hating the guy.

"No. I should, but I don't." I said after a while. Michael nodded, a small smirk on his lips. Neither of us spoke the rest of the trip.

Michael had gotten me to wait in the motel room while he fixed up payments and stuff. I sat on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom, my lip trembling as a long day hit me, and I cursed myself for crying again.

I couldn't help it though, the feelings I felt. I hated Michael and myself for everything but I loved him and loved the thought of doing such reckless things. But doing the things I loved defied every idea of 'good' I'd been taught growing up, which lead to regret, which left me crying. I was stuck in this endless circle of love, hate and regret.

Michael entered the room with a bang and I scrambled up off the floor, standing in the door way.

"Sorry, didn't mean to slam it." He said apologetically, sitting on the bed. I gave him a small smile before walking a little closer to him.

"You've been crying." Michael stated, frowning and standing up. He walked a few steps towards me and now stood before me.

Then I did the unthinkable.

I closed the gap between us and kissed Michael, taking out any and all emotions I felt. My body pressed against his and my hands roamed his body desperately, craving some sort of comfort and affection. But I received none, Michael's body staying still against mine, his lips not kissing back.

"I want to forget." I mumbled against his lips. I pressed my body against his harder, desperate for friction. His hands stayed paralysed by his side, his lips refusing to fight against mine. I grabbed his hands and put them on my waist. They lingered for a second before swinging back to beside him. Frustrated, I pulled away.

"Help me forget, Michael." I said, tears prickling my eyes. I grabbed his hands yet again and placed them on my ass, grinding against him slightly. My lips moved from his lips to his jaw. I felt his hands move from my ass to my shoulders and pushed me back slightly.

"No." He said softly. A few tears stained my cheeks as I walked towards him. Every step I took forward he took back until eventually, his calves hit the bed and he fell on to his back. I straddled his hips and leant down, kissing his lips again as tears flowed steadily.

"Bonnie..." Michael said, his voice muffled against my lips. I snapped up, now sitting up straight.

"Just let me fucking forget, Michael!" I screamed. "I just need to forget about tonight, why won't you fucking help me with that?!" Michael said nothing as I broke down, crying against his chest as I gripped desperately at his shirt. He surprised me when he rolled us over so we were side by side.

I stayed curled up against him but he sat up slightly, brushing hair from my face as bits got stuck in my tears.

"I-I killed a man today." I stuttered, body shaking.

"Take your jeans and top off, you can burrow one of mine." Michael said, not acknowledging my words. I nodded, rolling out of bed and swapping my clothes for his t shirt as sobs continued to escape me. As soon as I was done, Michael lifted the blanket welcomingly and I gratefully took his offer, sliding under the warmth of fabric and his arm. I resumed my previous position and continued to cry.

"I've never cried this much before." I told him. He didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry for being a pain in your ass." I apologised, receiving silence yet gain.

"Why didn't you kiss me back?" I asked next, voice much quieter and softer than before. Michael pressed a kiss against the side of my head.

"I wanted to, princess. But you're not you right now and I'm not taking advantage of that." He said, voice just as soft as mine. I nodded.

"Thank you." I said honestly.

"Just go to sleep, yeah? You'll be better in the morning." I nodded against his chest before closing my eyes, sleep taking over my senses in seconds.