Can We Be Heroes?

Chapter 19• A Game of cat and mice.

Kamui Woods pursued Vixen, his wooden limbs stretching and snapping like whips. Meanwhile, Vixen darted through the wreckage, his whip lashing out occasionally to swing him over obstacles or deflect incoming attacks.

“Stand down, vigilante!” Kamui Woods commanded in his usual authoritative tone.

“Yeah, no thanks!” Vixen quipped, vaulting over a broken counter and narrowly avoiding one of Kamui’s extending branches. “But, hey, while we’re at it… can I ask you something?”

Kamui Woods paused, momentarily thrown off by the casual tone in Vixen’s voice. “What?”

Vixen skidded to a halt, his whip coiling lazily in his hand as he turned to face the wooden hero. “So, you’re, like, made of wood, right? Like, entirely?”

Kamui Woods frowned, his branches twitching uncertainly. “What are you talking about?”

“You know,” Vixen continued, gesturing vaguely. “Like, is it all wood? Every little detail? Every… part?”

Kamui Woods froze as he processed the question. “…Are you.... You can't really be serious right now?”

“Dead serious,” Vixen replied with mock curiosity. “I mean, it’s fascinating, isn’t it? Do you, like, get termites? Do you need a special kind of polish to look so smooth all the time? And—oh! How do you handle splinters? That’s gotta be a nightmare, right?”

Kamui Woods stared at him, his jaw tightening. “This is completely inappropriate and very intrusive.”

“Is it, though?” Vixen said, tilting his head as though deep in thought. “I feel like these are the kinds of questions the public deserves answers to about you heroes. Like, can you grow leaves? Are your roots in good health? And most importantly…” He paused, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “How’s the… uh… delicate region? You know, the ‘twig and berries’?”

Kamui Woods visibly stiffened, his wooden limbs retracting slightly as if in sheer disbelief. “You really are serious—”

“Because if it’s wood down there too,” Vixen continued unabated, “that raises so many questions. Like, how do you—”

“ENOUGH!” The wood hero finally snapped, his voice booming through the empty mall. His branches shot forward with renewed vigor, aiming directly at Vixen.

Vixen yelped, leaping out of the way just in time. “Touchy subject, huh?  No need to get all knotty about it!” he called over his shoulder, his laughter echoing as he swung away with his whip.

Kamui Woods growled, his frustration mounting as he chased after the infuriating vigilante.

Vixen grinned as he flipped over a shattered display case, narrowly avoiding another of Kamui’s branches. “Oh, come on! You can’t tell me you’re not just a little curious about your own anatomy.”

“I am not discussing this with you!” Kamui shouted, his wooden limbs lashing out again.

“Suit yourself, Woody!” Vixen called, darting into a smoke-filled corridor. “But if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me!”

Kamui Woods skidded to a halt, his branches retracting as he glared after the retreating vigilante. “That’s it. I’m filing for hazard pay.”

----•----

Shadow slipped through the smoke-filled ruins of the mall like a wraith, his movements silent as humanly possible while behind him, Eraserhead followed without hesitation.

The man's scarf uncoiled and twitched like a living snake. "You can run all you want," Aizawa called, his voice calm but edged with steel. "But you’re not getting away from me."