Lessons in Apathy

28

Opening my eyes, I was wearing a hospital t-shirt and pajamas, I looked next to me to see my friends with smiles on their faces when they saw me awake.

"Colleen, pinakaba mo kami! Akala namin kung napano ka n—"

"What happened?" putol ko sa sasabihin ni Amara.

"You passed out earlier because of the cold, because you didn't change your dress, don't worry, you'll be fine," hinaplos ni Leila ang buhok ko at unang hinanap ng mga mata ko si Xantheus.

Wala sya dito. "Where is Xantheus? How is he? Anong balita sa kanya?" sunod-sunod kong tanong sa kanila pero natahimik lang sila kaya kinabahan ako. Nagsiyukuan sila at hindi na makatingin sa'kin.

Sinubukan kong bumaba sa hospital bed para puntahan ang kwarto ni Xantheus pero pinigilan nila ako.

"Colleen, calm down, you need to rest first, hindi ka pa pwedeng kumilos, sabi ng doctor," malumanay na sambit ni Danica.

"How can I calm down if you don't tell me what happened to him?!"

"Colleen, take a rest, papunta na ang doctor para i-check ka,"

"Don't change the conversation because I'm asking a different question Leila," nagmamakaawang sambit ko, mas lalo akong kinabahan. "Please, let me see him... he's still alive isn't he?"

Nagkatinginan sila sa isa't isa, mga walang emosyong pinakita kaya bumagsak na naman ang mga luha ko.

Because of my begging, they took me to Xantheus' room. When I opened the door, there were many tubes on him. There is a bandage on his chest because the gun bullet penetrated it.

The only thing that could be heard was the hum of the air conditioner and the beeping of the monitor.

Anghirap na makita syang ganito dahil sa kagagawan ko.

"D-Did he wake up earlier while I was sleeping?" tanong ko kay Nico na isa sa nagbabantay sa kanya. Nakaupo sya sa tabi bakanteng upuan sa tabi ng kama ni Xantheus at ang iba'y nakaupo sa pinakangdulo.

"Hindi, actually, kanina pa namin hinihintay na dumilat ang mga mata nya," sagot ni Nico. "He's in critical condition now and the doctor still needs to monitor him,"

"Don't worry, they said they'll do what they can to get him well," sabi naman ni Rick.

Nico left his seat next to Xantheus so I could sit there. I sat next to him and held his hand, I kissed it and placed it on my cheek. He was pale, his hands were cold and I was nervous about what might happen to him.

Tahimik ang buong kwarto at pinapanood lang nila akong hinahaplos ang kamay ni Xantheus.

"Chrysander, wake up, baka hinihintay na tayo ni Devin at Celeste," bulong ko sa kanya. "I have prayed to the Lord that your condition will be fine. I can't see you like that but I have to... because I want to t-talk to you... talk to me, Chrysander,"

"You are my only remaining ally and you promised me and my parents that you wouldn't leave me,"

I lay on his stomach and looked at him. Even though he is pale, he doesn't lose his handsomeness.

"Chrysander," bulong kong tawag sa kanya. "I love you..." dagdag ko. "Even though you are pale, you're still very handsome,"

"L... L-Lalabas na muna kami, Colleen," natatawang paalam nila sa'kin kaya kumunot ang noo ko.

Pinanood kong sabay-sabay silang lumabas ng pinto sabay sinara ito. Ako at si Xantheus na nakahiga nalang ang natira sa kwarto nang magsilabas na sila.

I turned to Xantheus and when I looked at his face I felt like I saw a ghost because his eyes were wide. "I love you more,"