Wet

An Uncomfortable Evening

I didn't speak to my dad the whole ride home. He tried to start conversation, but I ignored him. I felt bad, but I was dreading that we were inevitably going to have to talk about everything and I wanted to put it off for as long as possible. As soon as we got home, I ran upstairs and shut myself away in my room. I quickly changed into some joggers and a t shirt, discarding my uniform and the shorts on the floor in the middle of my room. My parents hated it when I created a 'floordrobe', but I didn't care in that moment. I lay on my freshly made bed (thanks mum), staring at the ceiling. I didn't do anything, I didn't even read. I couldn't bear the thought of what was to come.

---

I have no idea how much time had passed when there was a knock at the door. Mum came in. "We've arranged for Imogen and Bea to have sleepovers tonight, so you've got us to yourself. Dad has just picked up some fish and chips. Come on down for dinner." I rolled onto my side so that I was facing away from her. No way was I going to do as she suggested. "Suit yourself." She sighed and went back downstairs, leaving my door ajar. 

---

Sometime later, they both came into my room, flicking the light on. "Honey, you don't have to talk with us, but you do have to listen to us." Dad stated, sitting on the end of my bed. Mum grabbed my desk chair, placing it opposite my bed. "We know you have had a really hard day today, but that makes it all the more important that we have this talk." I stayed on my side, staring at the curtains. "Remember the agreement we made? That if the bedwetting was still happening after three months, you would have to wear protection?" I cringed. "Well, those three months have passed and its not getting any better. So, starting tonight, you will be wearing protection to bed. No arguments." Just as I had dreaded. "Now, about this afternoon." Mum took over from dad. "We understand that you asked to go to the toilet but the teacher refused because she wasn't aware of your situation. But we're really concerned with the effect it had on you. It's clear that you were extremely distressed by it. When dad spoke to Mrs Birtle, she was worried too. We've got a meeting with the school on Monday to come up with a plan of action on how best to support you, including therapy." Mum placed her hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged her away. "Just know that when you're ready to talk to us, we're here to listen."

---

After my parents left, I continued to lie unmoving in my bed. Hunger gnawed at me, but I couldn't imagine leaving my room. I was relieved my parents were leaving me to myself, though they were silently checking in on me once every so often. No way was I going to that meeting at school. In fact, I didn't want to go to school ever again. How could I? The later it got, the more certain I was that my parents threat of 'protection' was not going to become reality tonight. 

I'd just started to doze when mum came into my room holding something. "Luna, sweetie, I just need to put this on you, then you can go to sleep." My whole body tensed. In her hands was a tape on diaper. When they said protection, I thought they meant dry nites. "I'm NOT wearing THAT." I stated firmly, speaking for the first time since I'd come home. "Oh honey, they don't make dry nites that will fit you.". I shook my head. "I'M NOT WEARING THAT!" I screamed back. Ignoring my outburst, she continued. "Do you remember when granny was ill? We tried the incontinence pants and they just leaked constantly? You don't just wet your bed a little bit, you soak it. I know it's not ideal, but this is for the best." I clenched my fists as she neared the bed. No way was I going to just let her diaper me.

She pulled my jogging bottoms and pants off. I was paralyzed. Why wasn't I stopping her? "Well done, I know this is hard." Ok, I thought, I'll let her put it on me, but I'm not keeping it on. Once she's gone I'll tear it off, that seems like the path of least resistance. "Lift up your bottom." I did as I was told. She slid the diaper underneath me. "Back down." I lowered myself onto it. It didn't feel too bad. She expertly taped it up. She fed my joggers back up my legs and kissed me on the forehead. "I'm proud of you." I looked at her, bemused. She'd just diapered me, her fifteen year old. How could she possibly be proud of me for that? "This is really challenging thing to deal with. Accepting the help of the protection shows to me how mature you are."

Guilt ate away at me when I thought about removing the diaper. I didn't want to disappoint my parents. Besides, it actually felt kind of... good? It made me feel safe, like I didn't have to worry so much. But, that's ridiculous. I'm fifteen, I shouldn't be wearing a diaper at all, let alone enjoying it. Still, I closed my eyes drifted off to sleep, the diaper still securely enveloping me.