Wet

The Calm Before the Storm

As my eyes fluttered open, I momentarily forgot about the events of yesterday. I passed a hand over my sheets. They were dry! Maybe this was finally abating. Then I noticed the bulk between my legs. The diaper was heavily sodden, forcing my legs apart, but it hadn't leaked. Everything came crashing back to me. I pulled my pillow out from under my head and put it over my face. Why did this have to be happening to me? Life is so unfair. My despair, for the moment, was over ridden by a more urgent need. Food. I realised I hadn't eaten anything since lunch. According to my watch, it was 11:00. That makes it almost 24 hours since I last ate. I was still reluctant to leave my room,  but now a greater need was forcing me to. Besides, I couldn't exactly stay in my room forever as much as I might like to. 

I cautiously stood up, instantly noticing the weight of my diaper. As I waddled out of my room, I thought about going into the bathroom to take my diaper off, but my primary focus was on food. Plus, I kind of liked how it felt. Not that I would ever admit that last part. I padded downstairs, a little concerned I might fall because of how much the full diaper altered my gait and I felt a bit woozy from not eating. 

"Good morning sleepy head!" My dad said, ruffling my hair. "You looked so peaceful, we didn't want to disturb you." My mum added. They both noticed the drooping bulge between my legs, exchanging glances, but chose not to say anything. "Your sisters won't get home until after dinner, so you have us to yourself this afternoon. Anything you want to do?" My stomach rumbled. "Eat." I replied. My dad chuckled. "Well of course that can be arranged. But do you want to go out, stay at home? What do you want to do after you've eaten?" I sat down at the kitchen table. Mum placed a stack of pancakes drizzled with maple syrup in front of me. I practically inhaled them. Once my plate was empty, I licked it clean, not wanting to leave a single morsel behind. I'd like to say it was because I was so hungry, but that was pretty standard behaviour for me.

"I want to stay home. Can we play boardgames?" I decided. I couldn't face going out into the world today. Plus, I we didn't play boardgames that much because my sisters didn't like them. I don't think my parents like them much either, but they let me choose, and I love boardgames. It seemed my parents weren't going to push me to talk about 'things', which I was eternally grateful for. If they'd tried, I would've just shut down and gone back to my room to hide out. "Alrighty then. Now that you've filled your tummy, go and hop in the shower and get dressed. We'll be eagerly waiting for you to start the fun!"

---

I had so much fun that afternoon. Mum laid out a buffet of snacks to eat whilst we played instead of having lunch. I crammed myself with all of my favourite foods - M&Ms, Doritos, Haribo, Hobnobs, party rings, skittles and squashies to name just a few. I could tell my parents were trying to make up for me having a difficult time, they wouldn't normally let me pig out like this. They even let me pick dinner. I don't think they were thrilled when I chose fish and chips, they'd already had it last night because it was my favourite dinner, but they obliged anyway.

Dad left to pick my sisters up just after dinner. I headed to the living room to savour having free reign over the TV. About 25 minutes later, Imogen came bounding in. She's 7, the baby of the family. She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around me. "Lulu!" She was the only person that called me that, she couldn't say my name when she first learning to talk, but the nickname stuck. "Immy." I hugged her back. "I'm going to find Daisy." She released me from her grasp. Daisy was meant to be the family cat, but she hated everyone apart from Immy. With that, she bounced out of the room. Bea came in and sat next to me on the sofa. She had just turned 17. "You alright?" She queried. This wasn't just a polite greeting, there was an undertone of concern. I just nodded, not able to look her in the eye. We went to the same school, no way it hadn't gotten back to her exactly what had happened. Part of me wanted to ask her exactly what she had heard, but I couldn't bear to ask. 

Unable to cope with the tension any longer, I suddenly got up and ran to my room, shutting the door behind me. I flopped onto my bed face first. My heart sunk at the realisation that this weekend was going to end. I was going to be expected to go back to school. I had not gone back on my earlier conviction. No matter what anyone said or did, I was going to refuse to go to school. I hadn't told my parents this yet, but they were going to find out soon enough. At some point, mum knocked on my door and came in. The knocking was clearly a courtesy to let me know she was coming in, rather than asking for an invitation. "Bea said you seemed upset. Want to talk about it?" I shook my head adamantly. "Why don't you come downstairs for some family time? Immy is asking for you." I felt a pang of guilt at the mention of Immy, but I wasn't leaving my room any time soon. "No, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep." Mum sighed. "Ok, go to the toilet and brush your teeth. I'll be waiting for you." That could only mean one thing, another diaper. 

I brushed my teeth, but didn't even bother trying to use the toilet. I really was tired, but it was more emotional than physical. I walked back to my room, resigned to my fate. This time, mum had laid and changing mat on the bed. She beckoned for me to lie down and I complied. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment that I needed a changing mat. Then, a horrible thought hit me. "Do Immy and Bea know about my new... uh... nighttime... um... thing?" I couldn't bring myself to actually say it. "Yes." she answered. I started back at her, mortified. "Sweetheart, we felt it was best to tell them. They're your sisters and they love you. They're not going to tell anyone else. They have your back, Ok?" 

I didn't know how to respond. I just lay there, robotically going through the motions of a diaper change, tears threatening to make an appearance. Before I knew it, she was finished. She had even dressed me in pyjamas. It had been a while since mum had picked out my clothes for me. As with last night, she kissed me on the forehead. As soon as she turned her back to turn off the main light, the floodgates opened. Tears streamed down my face. I failed to suppress a whimper. She whipped around and sat next to me. I didn't resist when she pulled me into a warm embrace. "Let it all out. You don't have to keep everything bottled up my love. Mummy is here." She rubbed my back and rocked me backwards and forwards. I buried my face into her shoulder and let out muffled sobs. That night, I was soothed to sleep in my mum's arms just like when I was little.