Rivalry

Chapter XIIII

I went into my drivers room before the second practice started. I needed my trainer to give me a neck massage since it had been really stiff. I sat down in the massage table and started anxiously biting my nails.

When my trainer walked in, i shot my head up. Our eyes met, and i looked at him with pleading eyes. "Please don't tell my dad" i begged "we're not dating or anything it's-" I continued but he cut me off "i won't tell him anything, and you don't have to justify yourself Malia, its your life" he said as he pointed at the table for me to lay down.

What is it with everyone telling me that lately?

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After my engineering meeting, my father told me to go back to my hotel and get ready because we were going to dinner, just him and i. The least i could say was that i was absolutely not looking forward to it.

I arrived in my room and immediately faceplanted into my bed, letting out a groan. I didn't need to hear a two hour lecture from him. I just wanted to stay in my room, watch a movie, and go to bed.

I proped myself up on my elbows, opened up instagram, and typed my rivals name in the searchbar. I click on his profile and go to message him.

Pause.

What the hell am i doing?

I need to get ready. I threw my phone on my pillow and, dragged myself out of bed and headed for the shower, where i practiced my speech over and over, hoping my dad wouldn'tbe able to tell that i was lying.

I didn't feel like putting any effort for dinner. I didn't do my makeup, but i had to at least look presentable, or i'd never hear the end of it. I put on my favorite green cardigan with a white shirt and jeans. I let my hair flow down, and it looked fine, i didn't need to straighten it. On my way out i took one last glance at myself in the mirror and said. "You've got this."

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I ordered some pasta because i hadn't eaten all day, i knew this would fill me up. Before we ordered, my father was talking to me as if nothing had happened earlier today. I honestly hoped he would do that the rest of the dinner. Unfortunately, as soon as the server brought us our food, he began telling me he was disappointed in me.

He told me about four times that he didn't come to a few races, and he came back to me unfocused and a train wreck. I wonder how unfocused i could be when i either won or was on the podium all the races he's missed. Never mind that he scolded me the whole way home after Silverstone.

"What happened today can not happen again, Malia." He said with a serious tone, his gaze unwavering as it locked onto mine. I glanced down at my plate, fidgeting with my napkin, hunger fading from my body. "What's the matter with you?" He said in the same tone of voice. This was the moment. None of what i was going to say was a lie. It just wasn't what was actually happening. "I just miss mom. Sometimes i wish she was here, she'd know what to say when you don't understand whats going through my head, because you're a guy" i said, hoping he would drop the subject after this. We never spoke about my mother. Sometimes, i felt like he forgot she even existed. The most we'd do is watch the sunset together because she loved them, but even then we wouldn't talk about her. We just sat in silence.

He watches me silently, his brows furrowed. "There's nothing i wouldn't understand. Go on, what's bothering you? " He said, swallowing hard, almost as if he were trying to brace himself for whatever i would say.

Shit, i didn't think this far. I needed to think fast.

"You wouldn't understand the pressure i have, leading this championship and being the first woman in F1, dad, millions of little girls are looking up to me. And if i fail, the world will hate me." i rambled on, still the truth, but i knew i could handle my feelings, ive doneit my whole life, i was built for this. I've never really spoken to him about this anyway.