Ba't Ka Takot?

PUBLIC SPEAKING: WALA NANG CHAROT

I met FEAR (fear of public speaking) when I was in grade 10... Akala ko ready ako, ate, pero hindi pala!

Nung grade 10 ako, yun yung time na balik school na kami galing sa pandemic. New normal, nag-aadjust pa lahat, and I felt excited na babalik na sa school. I was so excited to see everyone again, but then the social pressure hit me.

Syempre FIRST DAY OF CLASS, hindi mawawala ang iconic na "Self Introduction" *sigh

Bago pa tawagin ang name ko, nagpakilala na sakin si FEAR, pero bago pa dumating itong epal kong friend, kinausap ko na si Self "Self kaya mo 'to, magpapakilala ka lang"

But FEAR wins, kasi sabi n'ya 

"What if malimutan mo pangalan mo?" 

"What if mabulol ka?" 

"Tignan mo, hinuhusgahan ka na nilang lahat HAHAHHAHA"

Yang mga KININGININGINING INANG WHAT IF ang sisira saakin, parang kinain ni FEAR si Self... Hindi lang isang Fear ang kumain sakin, kasi masarap ako :3 CHARING!

2 types of fear ang lumunok ng buo kay Self

Parang bobo si Self sa part na 'to

I asked myself "ba't ka takot?" "bakit kailangan mong matakot?"

My brian turned into a blank canvas, nung tinuro na ako ni Sir Dela Cruz, sabay sabi nang "Introduce yourself" 

Grabe ang kabog ng dibdib ko, at si FEAR na epal kong friend ay walang tigil sa pagtalk...

FEAR: "Introduce Yourself pero 'di mo kilala sarili mo" "Lahat sila ang ganda ng hobby, samantalang yung iyo puro kain at landi" "Binalaan na kita, mapapahiya ka lang" "Pag nagkamali ka, buong school year ka nilang pagtatawanan"

Kahit ganoon kalakas si FEAR at kahit nanalo s'ya kanina, hindi ko na s'ya hinayaang maka 2points pa 'no... Napakilala ko naman ang sarili ko sa kanila, pero akala ko yun na yun

Then came Business English, a subject I was actually passionate about. We had presentations, and I was determined to participate. But every time I tried to raise my hand, Fear would pull me back, like a grumpy dog refusing to go for a walk. 

 "What if you forget your topic?" "What if you can't explain it properly? What if they laugh at you so hard they need to call an ambulance?" 

 The quarter went by, and I remained silent. Fear had won again. 

 Then came the day I dreaded. Our teacher, Ma'am Cueto, called my name. 

"Corral, stand up. It's your turn to present." 

 My heart pounded in my chest. I felt like I was going to be sick, and not the good kind of sick, like the kind where you get to stay home and watch movies all day. I wanted to disappear, to be buried six feet underground, preferably next to a giant chocolate fountain. But I had to present. I had practiced my topic every day for weeks.

 I knew it inside and out. 

 Fear was there, smiling, whispering his doubts. But I heard another voice, a voice of hope, a voice of encouragement. It was the voice of our 2 Beautiful Class Presidents and the voice of my friends.

 "You can do it, Corral!" they whispered. 

 I took a deep breath and stood up. I looked at my classmates, their faces filled with judgement. And I began to speak. 

 The words came out, a little shaky at first, but they came. I explained my topic, and I continue presenting even tho i felt dizzy.  I felt a sense of liberation, a feeling of accomplishment. 

 I had done it.

 I had overcome my fear.

 The presentation was over, and I was surprised by the positive feedback. "Magaling ka pala ie!" Vane exclaimed.  "Kaya naman pala Neng." Ma'am Cueto added. "I'm so proud of you Self." For the first time, I believed them. I had faced my fear and emerged victorious.

Akala mo tapos na???

Anga Anga, start palang 'to