The Thought Process of Shu Kurenai

Kindergarten Friendships

In preschool, everyone was afraid of me. The other kids thought my red eyes were creepy and I don't think they had heard of albinos since they were only three or four years old.

Looking back, I don't blame them. They didn't mean any harm. They just didn't know any better. But it made me feel incredibly lonely. Being extremely shy and introverted didn't help.

So when I started kindergarten, I just avoided any social interaction with anyone. People tried being nice to me, but I was so certain nobody would like me.

My mindset was really sad, now to think about it. Maybe if my aunt was alive, things might have been different.

It wasn't long before most of my classmates gave up on me. But one didn't. Valt Aoi.

Valt never gives up on anyone. He's not the type of person to quit. And I'm grateful for that. Valt is a very loyal friend.

He always tried to include me in conversations and invited me to sleepovers. He shared his bread with me and defended me from bullies.

Soon, I also became friends with Xander. We always called ourselves the Three Musketeers. Not in public, of course. It was our secret name, so don't tell anyone.

I was terrified the first time I went to Valt's house. I was so nervous that I broke a plate. I remember feeling terrified and apologizing a lot, but Chiharu told me it was okay and it was an accident. I was surprised to hear her speak so kindly to me.

I cried when Valt's family threw me a surprise birthday party. I realized how much he cared about me and I knew I cared for him too.

I tried my best to keep my situation at home a secret from my friends, fearful that they will leave me. But they noticed how I was always alone and my parents never show up.

But one day I had reached my breaking point. I have always been scared of thunder, and one particular stormy night, I lay wide awake for hours listening to the thunder. I knew I would never get to sleep at that point, and I badly needed to be comforted.

So what did I do? I put on my raincoat over my pyjamas and made my way to Valt's house. I know, it was very dangerous doing that in the middle of the night, but I was only focused on getting help.

Chiharu was horrified when she saw me at the doorstep, soaking wet, crying, and shivering. She took me in the house and gave me a warm bath. Then she changed me into Valt's pyjamas and tucked me into bed, reading me a bedtime story to help me sleep.

I woke up feeling a little cold and stuffed up. I had caught a cold from being in the rain. Valt was by my bedside with a slice of strawberry cheesecake, my favourite.

In a moment of vulnerability, I confessed about my situation to Chiharu, who then told Valt, who told Xander. Far from leaving me, they were now doing their best to comfort me. Valt told me I was welcome back to his house anytime I liked, knowing his mother would give me the love and affection I never received at home.

More than once I had considered asking Chiharu to adopt me. But I didn't because she already had three kids and I didn't want to make her life more difficult. That mindset is what stopped me from going to stay over at the Aoi house more than I did.

Valt and Xander enjoyed having playful wrestling matches. Of course, Xander always won. I will never forget the time Valt accidentally ran into me. It actually hurt a lot as I hit my head on the ground, but I tried laughing it off so Valt wouldn't feel guilty.

I just hope Valt doesn't see this part. He would apologize a million times for a silly mistake he made as a little kid. I know he didn't mean to hurt me.

I am grateful to my friends for always inviting me to a lot of their activities together, though I usually watched rather than participated. Back then, I didn't understand the appeal of competing with my friends in competitions. I was afraid of conflict.

I was always the kid who ran away from bullies while Valt and Xander would tackle the situation head on. I was always the kid who freaked out over colouring outside the lines while Valt never cared. Xander didn't colour because he would break the crayons without meaning to.

Now that I think about it, I think I might have mild OCD. I just freaked out over a spelling mistake I did in this diary. I'm going to get tested.