Ocean's Daughter

Entry 1

Dear Diary,

My heart is so lost
I don't know who I'm supposed to love
I don't know who my heart really belongs to

I've spent so much time loving other people And reminiscing about the time I was with and around him that I forgot
once upon a time I loved her too

I don't dwell over the loss of her much,
but I know for a fact that there was a time
I grieved her too
And I guess I let myself move on too fast because I'm thinking about her now
and my heart feels crushed

As the years went on
and she would cross my mind here and there
I couldn't help but think that I let her down
by moving on too fast...by dismissing my love for her so quick

Unlike him
I was never in a relationship with her
To love her was forbidden or at least it felt forbidden
I never told her how I felt
She had no clue I loved the color of her eyes
or that I thought she was beautiful with and without makeup on
She had no idea I was torn between breaking her heart
or his
All she heard me talk about was him,
so how could she have possibly known that she meant something to me too?

Although I will use this diary to mostly talk about him and other past lovers
I feel like my love for her should also be acknowledge here
And that acknowledgement deserves to be on the first page

I hope one day we meet again and when we do the next time I will tell her she reminds me of a rose
bold and beautiful
and that I love her...I've always loved her