Ocean's Daughter

Entry 6

Dear Diary,

When I met him
everything changed
He breathed life into me
when he gave me everything I craved for
and so much more
He gave me a peace of mind, 
and he started a fire in me that would always burn for him
He didn't awaken my love
and then drive off
No, he stayed with me through it all
When I met him I took a big fall
But I never hit the ground
because he didn't let me fall alone
he caught me and never let me go
He opened my eyes to so many things
like real love
kind love
true love
I guess that's why I held on to him for so long even when he did finally let go
You see he was my life support
Without him I'm the dead girl I was before I met him
Now that he's gone
He's the only person I see
He was my medicine
The drug I was taking to keep me alive
My only serotonin
He was my cure
But now that he's  gone I'm half dead
and half alive

When I lost him
I lost a part of me that I could never get back
I didn't know who I was without him
Or how to keep moving on without him in my life
In that season of my life when I was first learning about heartbreak and loss
There wasn't a night where I didn't toss
and turn because he was on my mind
I didn't know how to breathe on my own
And all the ways he had been keeping me together was shown
In a way I had died that season
I become very melancholic
Although to young to have been an alcoholic
I would get drunk on sadness
and lose myself in hopelessness
Although I was almost on the edge of madness
I'm grateful for that season of loss because it had turn me into a poet